Thirteen

Thirteen

I raced through the rows of cabins until I reached the one Eli and Ruben shared. My wish to see them had quickly been replaced with a burning need to find out what was going on.

When I burst through the door, Hannah, who had gone behind us in the wagon, was already there. Jordan slept soundly on the bed while the three adults talked seriously in a cluster around the table. They fell into silence when I walked in.

“Adeline…” Eli and Ruben both began.

“Is he here?” I asked before they could get another word in. Could it be that he had finally come back?

“Is who here?” Ruben asked. It did not look like any of them knew what was going on.

“Isaiah,” I hissed.

“Why would you think that?” Hannah asked like I was an idiot. She always got upset when I talked about him.

“There… there’s a notch, in the tree,” I said urgently, feeling more and more foolish by the second. “That was his signal to me. He’s back!”

The three of them looked at me with unconvinced expressions and my heart sank.

Hannah’s eyes narrowed, growing colder than before. “Don’t be stupid, Adeline. You know he’s not coming back.”

I looked at her in disbelief. “What?”

Eli stood, kinder than Hannah, but equally hopeless. “I’m sorry, Adeline. But a notch on a tree doesn’t mean Isaiah’s come home.” They all avoided my eyes. “The three of us, we’ve talked about this. We don’t think he’s coming back at all.”

I looked at them, in shock that they could think that. “No. No!” I insisted. “He… he promised…”

Ruben looked at me sadly. “He promised he would try as long as he could. Adeline, it’s been four years. He hasn’t tried to contact any of us. What are the chances he even survived the trip north?” He dropped his gaze again. “We… we thought you were moving on.”

I did not know what to say to that because, on some level, I knew they were right. “So…” I trailed off, trying not to lose control. “So you all think he’s dead, don’t you?” All three of them looked at the ground ashamedly. I could have given up there, let them believe what they wanted to believe. But they were the last people who knew what had really happened that night, and I was afraid of believing them too.

“How can you believe that?” I asked angrily. “How can you all believe that Isaiah would not come back for us? Don’t any of you have more faith in him?”

“Adeline…”

“He promised he would come back!” I cried. “He didn’t just promise me he promised us! How can you think he would lie to us? I know him better than that.”

“Adeline,” Eli said quietly. “We all believe in him, you know we do. We know he would do whatever it took to come back to you. But not even Isaiah could stop death with a promise. If something happened to him, making a promise wouldn’t keep him alive.”

My bottom lip quivered. I did not want them to see me cry.

“You… you don’t know. You w-wouldn’t understand.” I backed towards the door.

“Adeline, don’t go…”

“He’s not dead,” I insisted as I walked out. “He’s not dead.”

I hesitated a moment outside the cabin. The window was open and I could hear what they said inside.

“That didn’t go well,” Eli said sadly.

“I really think we should have told her.” Ruben’s voice was persuasive. Tell me what?

“Don’t be ridiculous, Ruben,” Hannah said sharply. “We agreed not to tell her. You know she can’t know. It would only make things worse.” Their voices trailed to whispers and I could not hear anything more.

I panicked. What could they possibly not be telling me? Maybe they knew something I didn’t, something that would make them believe he was dead. Maybe they even knew it for certain.

Tears came streaming down from my eyes. Not wanting to be seen by my parents like this, I sat down under the tree to cry.

Moments ago I had been filled with more hope than I had felt in years. I actually thought he was back. Now it was more possible than ever that he would never come back and my only friends could not be honest with me.

I had brought this all on myself. I had let myself think that a notch on a tree meant all my problems were solved. Hope, I had learned, was a very dangerous thing.

After sitting in the dirt for a while, I tried reversed my tears and trudged up to the house. I slipped inside and up to my old bedroom before anyone could catch me.

I did not let my eyes stray to the door in the ceiling as a slave girl dressed me in a light pink ball gown. If I was to make it through this night, I could not let Isaiah back into my thoughts.

I could not think about what they had said. I could not let myself believe he was dead. If I ever let myself think that, it would be my breaking point.

The promise that he would return was the only thing I had in the world. It was the only thing that was mine. I could not lose hold of that promise.

I had not had a day like this in years. A day when memories of him were so strong, when everything reminded me of him and everyone seemed to speak of him.

I looked at myself in the mirror for the first time. I looked better than I could have, considering the possibility of my black ex-lover’s death. The dress was pretty and the girl had piled my hair fashionably on my head.

Four years had changed my reflection, of course. I was still predictably pretty. My features were still delicate and my waist still slim, though the baby had seen to it that I could never again reach sixteen inches. But eyes were tired and dull, and I gazed with sadness on the look of premature bitterness in my once-innocent face.

“You look lovely, miss,” the girl said.

“Yes, thank you,” I looked at the color of the dress and realized what I could do to give myself strength tonight.

“Sally,” I said to the girl, “fetch my bag.” She brought it too me and I dug around until I found what I wanted. It was still there, where I had thrown it so quickly to hide it from Hannah.

For the first time in four years, I pinned my hair back with the jeweled flower pin.

“There,” I said to no one in particular. “Lovely.” I gave myself a little smile and walked down the stairs.

Roy was waiting downstairs in his suit, his blond hair oiled to perfection. He was so undeniably handsome I actually smiled, then cursed him to the pits of hell for it.

“You look… very…” he seemed to look for the right word without seeming too complimentary. “…Pleasant, very agreeable.”

“Well thank you, Roy,” I said coyly. “You’re looking especially agreeable too,” I said, throwing his half-compliment back at him. He scowled briefly but seemed to ignore it. I knew that his “kindness” meant he would want something in exchange tonight. That was not a fight he would easily win.

“Time to go, then,” he said. We walked to the carriage. My parents had gone ahead, so it was a quiet ride.

The party was at the home of the Johann’s, their son being a friend of Ethan’s who was also returning from war. By the time we reached the house, which was much closer town, the party was in full swing.

I walked in on Roy’s arm, trying to hold my face at something more pleasant than a grimace. I let go of him quickly, however, when I saw my brother.

Ethan did not look anything like he had, or maybe it had just been too long for me to remember. It was amazing that I had actually not seen my own brother in four years. He looked more like Daddy than before, especially with a new beard. There was something much more serious about him than I remembered.

There was something off about the way he stood. I almost missed it, the sleeve of his coat hid what had happened.

My brother was missing his left arm.

When Ethan left, I thought I could never care about what happened to him. He had taken Isaiah away from me. But he was my brother, and seeing him crippled like that was almost too much to take.

I raced over to him as fast as I could, given my impossible gown, and left Roy alone in the crowd. “Ethan!” I called in an unladylike way.

He smiled, “Adeline!” He put his arm around me. “How good to see you have become a civilized woman.” Leave it to Ethan to not allow his arrogance to be crippled by something as trivial and insignificant as the loss of an arm.

“Ethan! W-What happened to you?” I gestured to his arm, as if he wouldn’t know anyway.

“Oh,” he said, looking at his empty sleeve. “Damn Yanks, got me in the arm, blew it straight off.” He was so incredibly casual it almost made me angry. “I wrote Roy and our parents. Didn’t they tell you?”

I never knew Ethan wrote us. Roy had been keeping it from me. I shook my head. I was not about to make Ethan deal with my problems with Roy. That would have to be my job.

I hugged my brother again and went over to where Roy stood. He was arguing with Mr. Johann, the man whose son had also returned and was hosting the party.

“All I’m saying is with the Union closing in on us more and more, it’s better to play it safe,” our host was arguing. “By slowly bettering the conditions for my slaves, I am preparing myself for the possibility of the northern victory!”

I blinked in disbelief. Could it be a man in Alabama actually giving rights to his slaves?

Roy, of course, was the first to try and dash Mr. Johann’s argument. “Yes, I understand…” No he didn’t. He never understood. “But by giving rights to the slaves we bow to the will of the Union, we give them what they want when we should be fighting to keep our ways!”

This was echoed by a few ‘Here here’s’ and ‘True, indeed’s’, followed by the clinking of glasses. Roy turned and saw me.

“Oh, Adeline, I didn’t see you.” I did my best no to snarl in response. “Did you need me?” I remembered that I had meant to confront him about the letters, but I was not really in the mood anymore. So I shook my head.

Roy looked at me condescendingly. “I am sorry but this really isn’t the kind of conversation you would enjoy. Why don’t you go on and see what Miss Sara or Miss Holly have to say.” He didn’t really think women had anything to say, not that concerned him, anyway. But I nodded and went to the closest circle of gossiping girls I could find.

Mrs. Johann was among my new group. She too was talking about her husband’s actions regarding the slaves.

“…Of course, I think the whole thing is preposterous. The Union hasn’t even come close to reaching us. All he’s achieved is annoying the other men.”

But I could not hear anything more. My heart sped up until all I could hear was the pounding of blood in my ears. Everything around me seemed to blur into oblivion, everything except the person who was the sharp center of my focus.

He was there, standing just across the room from me.  A feeling I thought I could never have again washed through me so fiercely it almost made me hurt to look at him. The man, the tall, handsome man, was dressed as a servant, only I would know he was so much more.

Black eyes seared through me, giving me that look I had almost forgotten.

He was back.

Isaiah was back.

Reviews

[Short.Nerd]

Yay!:D

[C. Porter]

YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I knew Hannah and Ruben and Eli were being stupid...of COURSE he was back!!! OF COURSE HE WAS BACK! Unless they knew...? Hmm..

[Lorraine]

Good for Ethan. Losing his arm is probably his punishment for what he did. I'm glad you made it like that or it would seem not so realistic. I mean considering that Ethan has entered the war, it's just reasonable for him to receive some kind of damage. War is not a joke or a play after all. Anyway, Isaiah's back. Yay, after four years his back. Oh, I'm sure a lot things are bound to happen. Good Job.

Keep Writing. ^___^

[mirui]

I cannot wait for the next enthralling chaptter.

[Alexia Gray]

Aghh! He's back! He's back! Another excellent chapter and it flowed really smoothly from one event to the next, cannot wait for the next chapter!