Eleven

Part Two: 1864

Eleven

I felt the warmth of the night on my skin as I raced through the trees. A full moon and millions of stars illuminated a path that did not exist, the path I followed.

I did not know where I was going, but I somehow knew exactly where to go. I did not know where I was, but everything was familiar.

The forest around me suddenly gave way to a circular clearing. The ground was carpeted with pink blossoms coming from the familiar flowering tree in the center of the small meadow.

And he was there. Isaiah stepped out from behind the tree, almost shining in the moonlight. He smiled and gave me that look, that look that made me feel like I was the only other person in the world.

We stood motionless for a minute, a few yards apart. That old tension, that feeling that I had almost forgotten, made the hair on the back of my neck stand up.

Then Isaiah cleared the distance between us. He brushed a rough hand across my face, wrapped his arms around me and looked into my eyes.

"I love you, Addy," he whispered. The words were a warm breath on my face. I reached a hand out and touched his cheek, needing assurance that he was real.

Isaiah drew me closer to him and kissed me. A warm feeling that made me feel that everything was right in the world washed over me. I curled my arms around his back.

But something was wrong. His back was covered in a warm, thick substance. I pulled my hands away and looked at them over his shoulder. Then I screamed.

My hands were covered in blood.

"What is it?" he asked, sounding like he was concerned for me. "Did I hurt you?"

He had said those words that night.

I could not bring myself to answer him. Before I could pull my hands away his shirt was suddenly gone and all I could feel was his shredded skin. I backed away from him, covering my mouth. In doing so, I smeared Isaiah's blood across my face.

It started to rain, and Isaiah began to change. His face was bruised. His head was gashed open and bleeding. His clothes fell away and I could see that his body covered in deep cuts and scars. His legs gave out under him and Isaiah fell to the ground.

"Addy!" he cried out as he realized what was happening to him. "Help me!"

But I did nothing. Some unseen force did not hold me back. I was not frozen in time and unable to move. There was nothing standing between Isaiah's broken body and me, nothing stopping me from running to his aid. Yet I stood motionless. I did nothing but watch as he writhed in pain.

Then, from nowhere I could see, there was a gunshot. I moved then. I threw myself down beside him. It occurred to me as I kissed his bloody lips and wiped mud from his eyes that, once again, I had acted too late.

"D-don't forget, Addy," he rasped. "Don't... don't e-ever forget w-what happened here. Don't f-forget... don't forget me."

I would have begged him not to leave me if I thought it would do any good. "I love you," I whispered.

He said nothing, but a peaceful smile spread across his face before his shallow breath stopped all together.

Then he disappeared from my arms, washed away from me with the cleansing rain.

"No," I breathed, flexing my empty hands helplessly.

"No!" I cried, standing and looking to the sky.

"NO!" I screamed at the heavens that had taken him away from me.

Then everything went black.

           

When I awoke, my pillow felt like it too had been soaked with rain in the night. I took a few deep breaths before I opened my eyes and lifted my head.

The dream was back. The terrifying nightmare that had haunted me for night after night had returned. It had been months since the last occurrence. I thought they had ended. I thought I would never have to spend another night in the agony of missing Isaiah.

Time had passed, more than four years already. Life had gone on without him. It had to.

I stood and shuffled over to the dresser. I reached inside and pulled out the crumpled, aging pages that I turned to only when I needed his words the most. It lay next to the hairpin I had not used since that night Isaiah removed it.

Without that letter, without Isaiah’s promise that I was strong enough to survive without him, I don’t know if I would have made it through those first months.

It was, of course, an impossible promise. I reminded myself frequently that I had no way of knowing if he even survived the trip to the first refuge house alone, let alone the harrowing journey north.

But there was one promise that never wavered in my heart or mind. I knew that if he was still out there, if he was a free man, Isaiah was on his way back to me.

I used to imagine that when I turned around, Isaiah would be standing there, just as I remembered. Sometimes at night I thought I heard him whisper my name and in my mind I felt his arms around me. Of course, he was never really there, and eventually I gave up on pretending.

After that first year, the ache in my heart began to dull. Four years later, his face was not as clear in my mind as it had once been. In my dreams, his voice was never exactly right. I couldn’t quite remember the feeling of his rough hands on my face, or the warmth of his lips or the sincerity in his eyes. At first it had terrified me, losing hold of the memories. But there was no way around it: Isaiah was fading.

So it was shocking that the dream had so suddenly returned. It had been a reoccurring nightmare for months after he left, but as time went on, I thought the terrifying nights were over.

"Adeline," I turned with a start and shoved the letter back into the drawer, looking to the doorway.

Every time I heard his voice a part of me wanted to die. It reminded me that I had all but thrown my life away. I had betrayed Isaiah to save myself.

"What is it, Roy?"

I hated myself for marrying Roy McCalvin. In the beginning, I was too numbed to feel anything towards my husband. By now, though, it was a good day if I only silently wished leprosy upon him once. We barely had a kind word for one another.

When Isaiah was still with me, there was no part of me that ever thought I would actually choose to be with anyone else. But I had hardly had a choice, and it was too late to change anything.

“I thought I would remind you, darling,” he said in a forced tone that I long ago learned was not charming but manipulative and incredibly irritating, “that your brother returns today.”

My annoyance threatened to overflow. Surely his ignorant, pretty little wife had forgotten that her own brother was returning from the war today, having her mind occupied with nothing else but bearing children and embroidering.

But I smiled and said, “Yes, dear. I remember.”

He could see he was infuriating me, but who was he to care? “Good. And don’t forget to pack.” There was a party at the home of one of Ethan’s friends, who was also returning with him. Roy and I would be staying at my parents’ home for a few days, to properly welcome him.

At least it would give me the opportunity to see my friends. When I left the plantation, only Hannah had come with me. She and Eli had been married before that, so they were allowed visits on Sundays. But I only got to see the boys when we visited my parents, and that was a very rare occurrence.

Hannah had never really gotten over the loss of Isaiah, and she resented me even more for taking her away from Eli. But she had her reasons for coming with me, and those reasons bound us together. Though we never became as close as we were before, I appreciated her more than ever for coming with me.

“Yes, Roy.”

“Excellent. Come down for breakfast, then, once you’re dressed. Wear something…” he looked me up and down, “…presentable.” I did not know if he meant he thought I looked fright standing there in my nightgown or if he was hinting that I looked better without the clothes. Either way, I was annoyed with his cryptic boorishness. “We will leave for your parents’ home in a matter of hours.”

I would have liked to give him a piece of my mind right then. I was not in the mood to put up with Roy’s arrogance today. But rather than tell my husband off though, I fought back the urge and said, “Yes, dear.”

Roy gave me a look, the smirk that made me curse his devilish good looks, the seal on the notice that told me he was the head of this house, and strutted out the door.

I wished very much that I had something blunt to throw at the back of his head as he walked away.

Breakfast with Roy was uneventful. His lack of conversation told me that he could really care less that my brother was returning from war. He just liked being seen publically.      `

Almost as soon as the war began, shortly before I got married, Ethan had enlisted. If Mama had not held him back, insisting he was too old to fight a young man’s war, I think Daddy would have gone too. At that time, I was too wrapped up in my own problems and too unforgiving of my brother for what he had done to Isaiah to really even notice he was gone. But it would be good to have him home again. With news of the bloodiness of the battles and the conditions of the soldiers, everyone worried for him.

Roy had, of course, somehow avoided joining the war. Sometimes I think he used his marriage as an excuse to stay out of it. When we were first married, he insisted that he could not leave his new wife. Other than cowardice, though, he had no reason not to enlist now. Maybe the war would finally be good for something if it took Roy off my hands.

Though I excused myself before he did, I did not really have a way to pass the time until we had to go. As I trudged up the stairs in an unladylike way, I wondered for the thousandth time where my life had gone wrong.

It was moments like that when I always remembered the picture of my life I had once imagined. In that last wonderful moment before everything was ruined, when I promised to run away with him, I had imagined the beautiful life I would lead. Now, I thought of that image and scoffed. I had been you young, so stupid, so naïve. I had actually believed Isaiah and I would be together forever, like no one would ever stop me from being with him. When I thought of where our lives had actually taken us, I bound to a man I despised and Isaiah most likely dead in a ditch, it made me sick to think about.

I found Hannah in my room. She was packing my things. We said nothing to each other. I took my book and sat in the chair in the corner while she silently worked.

I needed someone to talk to, so I spoke up. “You’ll get to see Eli today,” I said cheerfully.

She nodded. I knew being away from Eli hurt her. I took any opportunity to allow her to see him, even if it meant an unnecessary visit to my parents’ home. Today I had insisted she come along to the house to help me prepare for the party, giving her a full four days with him.

Hannah was usually in a better mood when she knew she would be seeing him. She had something on her mind.

Rather than pry it out of her, I decided to keep up my end of the lopsided conversation and hope it would come up.

“I hope I get to see the boys this time,” I said, since it was the first thing that came out of my mouth. “Last time I hardly even…”

“You didn’t see Jordan yesterday,” she said sharply, cutting me off. “She missed you. You should go before you leave.”

I shivered but nodded. I had forgotten. I turned on my heel and walked from the room, without responding, hoping to get to her as soon as possible.

I didn’t bother to tell Roy where I was going. He did not care. My parasol blocked my face from the hot summer sun as I walked briskly towards the slave cabins. Most of the cabins here were smaller than they had been at home. But I had insisted when I arrived that Hannah’s be bigger. She utterly deserved it.

The little girl sat in a chair, playing with an old rag doll. She looked different from the other slaves, he features more delicate, her skin more caramel, but her eyes were a deep black. She was the most beautiful child in the world.

Her eyes lit up when she saw me.

“Momma!”

She was my baby

Isaiah’s baby

I smiled, hoping my daughter couldn’t see the sorrow behind my eyes.

 

Reviews

[Short.Nerd]

Wow... didn't expect that at all (I shoul've thoug)

[C. Porter]

OMIGOD! I WAS JUST STARTING TO REALLY LIKE ADELINE FOR SAVING ISAIAH!
Grr. I cannot believe she married Roy. He's disgusting. She should have gone looking for Isaiah the day he left!!! FORCED Eli to remember which one it was! Agh!

[hannah]

liar! i thought you didn't like incorporating babies and pregnancy in your stories? :) taking a page out of mine and jordans books i see. nice job!

[Lorraine]

I don't understand why Adeline had to marry Roy when she still believed in Isaiah's promise. How about Isaiah once he returns? But wow, she had a child with Isaiah. That's one good news, but I bet Jordan's another complication in their already complicated story. Oh, the plot twist is wonderful, minus the part with Roy, though. It's getting more and more interesting.

Keep Writing. ^___^

[poetic-raven2012]

woah.

[Alexia Gray]

Aww this is again really sad; she has a child that she can't see particularly and Roy is just horrid! Hmm, once again I can't think of what to say other than... WOW!

[mirui]

I liked how the beggining started out strong and then kinda calmed down.