Lost

This was a hard one for me to write. I hate to break a character's heart...

Lost
 
 
 
            My own scream wakes me up. I jolt up in a bed that I slowly realize is not my own. What happened last night?
            "Oh!" My amazing night with Edmond comes rushing back to me. I remember everything, every word we said, every smile, every kiss. A feeling of complete happiness flows through me, allowing me to quickly shake of the harrowing nightmare, which, to my satisfaction, was only a dream.
            I lie back, completely happy to just lie here in the large, luxurious bed in the sunlight streaming in through the window. It is possible that life could never get any better than this.
            But where is Edmond?
            I look about the room. The left side of the bed is empty, the blankets thrown back. I assume he has gone downstairs. I think nothing of it, but I do wish to see him. So many questions went unanswered last night. What are his plans for our future? What is the meaning behind his strange confession? I decide not to worry myself with this now, I would rather keep the pleasant feeling flowing through me.
             Looking around, I see a dressing robe thrown over a nearby armchair, which I assume is meant for me, since my clothes of last night are nowhere to be seen. I throw it over myself and rush out the room and down the stairs.
            I stop dead at the base of the stairs when I hear voices I do not recognize, saying things I cannot understand yet. I listen intently.
            "Lot two-forty-seven, ladies and gentlemen," an unfamiliar man's voice, "a fabulous French tapestry made for the queen of Spain in 1653. Starting at fifty shillings… fifty… do I hear fifty-five… fifty-five… and sixty… sixty from you, sir… and sixty five," silence. "Selling at sixty shillings, then; thank you sir."  Everything comes together; an auction. Why is Edmond having an auction?
            Still terribly confused, I peer around the corner of the wall. About thirty people dressed in fine clothes stand in the parlor. Another item is being brought up to the platform. I let out a small gasp, which. much to my dismay, echoes through the room.
            Thirty pairs of eyes stare at me. I feel my face redden. Here I am, an unknown woman in a robe in the morning at the home of the wealthiest man in town. I can almost hear them think "w***e".
            I have nothing to say, so I stand there, growing redder by the second. Luckily, I am saved more humiliation when I feel a hand on my shoulder, or so I think.
            I go with my first instinct. "Edmond!" I cry happily.
            As I turn, my face falls immediately. A very stiff looking butler stands properly in front of me.
I wish I had not said what I did. He responds, "Madam, if you wish to enter the auction of Mousier LeDego's things, I am afraid you shall have to change into something more suitable."
            I stand there like a fool for a moment, utterly stunned. "What?"
            "The auction, Madam, for Mousier LeDego's possessions, is for members of the higher society."
            I still do not understand. "What?" I say again, for what I hope is the final time.
            The butler sighs, obviously convinced he is dealing with a daft prostitute. "Mousier LeDego's property is being auctioned off, since he left the property.
            "Left the property?" Fear strikes as my heart drops. I have a deathly cold feeling in the pit of my stomach.
            "Yes, Madam, did you not know? The ball last night was intended to announce his departure. He planned to return to the sea today. But he became," he looks me up and down, "distracted last night and the manager of the estate announced it. He left in the dead of night, they say."
            The world crashes around me. Time itself seems to stop.
            Gone
            Gone
            Gone
            In one second everything is destroyed. Hope, trust, love, all of it gone. Nothing is left but a hollow hole in my heart, throbbing with agony. An emptiness fills me which, even as I struggle to stay above the black abyss pulling me into darkness, struggle to wrap my mind around the situation, I know cannot be healed by anyone but the man who I will never see again.
            Why?
            The room begins to look blurry, spinning. I fear a fainting spell, but I can't make myself care. The now concerned words of the butler bring me back to the world, for only a moment. "Did he not tell you?"
            I should just say 'no' or 'yes, thank you' but what comes out of my mouth is what I am thinking.
            "I was his sea." I whisper, hardly able to get the words out before the strings of ripping sobs assail me. I turn and run, away from the butler, away from the auction. There is no where to go. Outside this house there are people who know I slept with the richest man in town, people waiting for me to come home. Inside, inside there is only emptiness, memories I wish I could forget but never want to lose. I find myself rushing up the stairs, back to what was Edmond's room. I throw myself on the bed and allow the sobs to take me over. I cannot run away from the truth, the searing, aching truth. Edmond is gone. I probably never meant anything to him; just another girl, just another night.
            Then why did he say he loved me? Just to get me into bed? How could it have felt so real? Why did I give myself over to him? Why did I let myself believe? My reputation is lost forever. I will never leave this island; all for one lying man. Maybe he was right, I am an impressionable child.
            Another, greater pain comes over me when I realize he knew the whole time that he would be leaving me. Every reassuring word about staying with me forever was a lie.
            I do not know how long I lay there, shaking in agony, thinking over everything that was said.
            'Do you honestly think I could ever willingly leave you?'
            A tap comes at the door, bringing me back to reality. For a single glorious moment, I believe it is Edmond coming back to me. I fling open the door, only to find a stunned looking maid. Her stance becomes more uncomfortable when she sees me.
            "Um, miss, I believe these are yours?" He holds out my outfit from last night. "They were in the wash and when I heard Mousier LeDego had a girl up here…" She trails off. My face must show that I am more insulted than I meant it to. "Well, here you are." She says and hurries away, probably to tell the other maids that it was Ana Divendy, the last girl in the world they would expect to be taken by Edmond LeDego.
            As I pass the mirror on the wall, I understand one of the many reasons the maid looked so frightened. I look like a nightmare. My hair has become completely frazzled and wild. My eyes have swollen shut with crying. My face is covered with red blotches in some places and pale from fear in others and my dry lips are cracking. Why have I allowed him to take hold of me like this again? I promised myself he would never have such dominion over me again. But there is nothing I can do now. The throbbing hole in my heart will never heal.
            I know I must face the world again, though I know it is likely Aunt Marian will put me out of the house as soon as I arrive.
            Roseanne
            I know Roseanne will help me.
            This is the first uplifting thought I have had. Still, I dress slowly, not eager to face the harrowing gossip. When I have dressed, I begin to walk out the door, but I stop. I feel something in my pocket. When I pull it out, I gasp.
            Edmond's locket
            The small golden oval rests in my hand. I study it closely. I have never been able to make out the engraving until now. A thorny rose with two snakes entwining in and out of it is etched into the gold. I have no idea what the symbol could mean, but I stare at it, memories of Edmond breaking me again.
            I pray that was not the only thing left behind. I dig deeper into my pocket, hoping with all my heart to find something else. I am successful. Deep inside my dress, I find a small piece of parchment. I read it over several times before I can process it, but I recognize the neat script instantly.

Nothing is lost forever

I turn the paper over and find more on the back.
 
I love you
 
 
            The throbbing, aching hole in my heart begins to sear.
 
 
 

Author's Note

This is definitely NOT the end of the book! But it may be all that's up for a while. I've started a new book and am doing some serious plot work on this one. If you really want the raw material that I have, contact me plz.

Reviews

[trish420]

So... do you still have raw material for this one? I'd love to take a look at it if you do.... I just hate wondering what happens next LOL :-)