Love Clock

some words came in my mind remembering my love in another country missing her too much.

Looking at my wrist , time now :Longing to the lover and five kisses assumed on her white forehead with respect  to the local time of her pulse , and in some faraway place , separating me from her forehead an old continent and another Brunette one, and a white sea go between these continents , she stands there on the west coast of the Atlantic Ocean , look at her wrist , the time now Longing to the lover and five kisses assumed on my brown forehead with respect to the local time of my pulse  ... unite our pulses on one heart clock ... as if our yearning holds the meridians and make them one package in his inflamed hand  , but ... what is the point , my dear . . , pulsing beats and eats ... what is the benefit that your time is mine too , and mine is yours ... There is no place on the land brings us at once.

Author's Note

please forgave me for my writing mistakes

Reviews

[Lydia Shutter]

There is a very romantic feel to this write. The longing is strong. Still, I have to be honest and tell you I did not understand a lot of what you were trying to say. I know that English is not your first language so it is difficult to convey emotions in a language you are not fluent in. Lydi**

[Anas Reyad]

yes i really have some troubles in English i am not fluent but i can manage my self and i think the point here is that i miss her truly, thank you Lydia.

[Anas Reyad]

its like i am standing missing her and she as is standing missing me and wanted to use some geographical features to show the distance and how far are we but feelings are the same

[Lydia Shutter]

I could feel the longing in your words.

[Mary Bradley]

The emotion is strong in this poem / story ... a bit confusing for the reader to enjoy the whole paragraph of it . Keep up the good work

[Courtney Rose]

Very romantic, I can feel the sense of longing. Even though English isn't your first language it was well written

[Anas Reyad]

thank you i really appreciate that

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i agree with melissa...this is more poetic prose than poetry...

this form does not speak of poetry..

i think there are some nice images in this...

but working on form and editing the errors can really make this into something really good.

[Anas Reyad]

thank you Jacob, just give me a break my friend i am new at this site and trying to get involved here its just i felt like that and wanted to write what i really feel but will consider that.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i realize the newness to the site, but you did ask for honest opinion...and early help can be more beneficial than not giving it...

i see a lot of potential in your writing..

[Anas Reyad]

thank you i really appreciate that

[Melissa Rose]

I think there's a lot of beauty there, but perhaps try breaking it up? Instead of a solid paragraph, why don't you have fun with the white space? Breaks in a sentence can give it so much more power. Thank you for sharing with me. :)

[Anas Reyad]

thank you for telling me so, i will consider your hints but i wrote it in about 5 min, and didn't want to go away fore one sec, but thank you will consider that