Hypothetical Hatesong

just a poem, i suppose.

raping my mouth
my throat
my mortality.

Shooting eternity into the back of my skull,
choking on forever.

Oh dear, I do believe I vacuumed up my dignity. I'd reach in the bag and find it, but there are too many spiders and razorblades in there.

So find the freedom.
The truth is not out there, but inside me.

Find it.
rape it.
Leave me empty.

Gasping in lonely sin
Remembering the brightest part of the day,
when the sun hit the snow at the top of the hill,
And the cold Heaven outside soothed the hell in my heart,
with the moon in the afternoon sky-

and my red hoodie smelled like instant ramen and sex.
Inefficiently covering my naked form,
the cold wintry self I REFUSE to give you.

Something beautiful being destroyed by something even more so,
as it sleepwalks aimlessly...

In the gentle snow that blanketed purgatory while she dreamt of devils.

Reviews

[unlawfulpermanence]

indeed my favorite of your writing.
I love the "Oh dear, I do believe I vacuumed up my dignity. I'd reach in the bag and find it, but there are too many spiders and razorblades in there."
It's such an emo passage without being emo, and that gives it major kudos.

[Legion]

How visceral and visual. A wonderfully dark and brilliant piece at the same time. Feels like being stoned to death while in an euphoric state if that makes sense. Going in my favorites. Bravo!