Coward and tick-tack

My mental breakdown.

Happiness and victory come trough harmony, something I idealize as way of living. What a failure, my life that is, having illusions about striving for my motto, while doing everything to contradict every word in it.  I am in other words an individual who believes and preaches his vision, but doesn't follow his own morale and believes. In other words a con-artist on my own self and others. What a bitter-sweet irony all of this is, yet tick-tack,tick-tack the flow of time that screams missed opportunities. 

The con-artist feeds my ego with lies that have been blinding me for all of my conscious existence. How can I stop living this way? Maybe a rant,cry,tantrum, or change of scenery will help me out of this conundrum. No, only honesty will help me, nows the time to stop listening to the con-artist and start listening to the universe/god or anything that’s higher that me.  

Author's Note

first try in many years.