Pyre

 

 

 

Requiems of my soul pirouette in your eyes

An untamed desire on elegant lips.

Sinful thoughts promise a spark to the fire

That silently whisper a longing for pyre.

Eruptions so icy on fiery skin.

Lust denotes sin, it drives itself in.

Like the rush of the blood, the chill of the fever,

I'll be the giver if you're the receiver.

Reviews

[Marc Mccune]

The anticipation of love and pleasure.
Oh and when the fire breaks out.
I liked the content and the thought portrayed in this piece.

the writing: the first two lines start out as a prose poem.
But from line 3 to the end, you use a very good rhyme. I don't know if this unusual structure was on purpose or not. As far as the rhyming lines go, I really liked them. I usually don't like rhymes...and that is because usually in pieces I find in Writers Cafe, people who try to rhyme don't really know how, and they really mess things up...usually by breaking the fine meter of the poem by trying to force lines to rhyme...or by picking words that do not really rhyme.
But use of the rhyme was good and I like it.

[- - - - - - - - > -] Likemeter�

[Eagle Cruagh]

Sinful thoughts promise a spark to the fire
I presume the pyre has begun with these sinful
thoughts. Did the pyre erupt into a conflagration ?
I can only wonder and surmise this may have come about.
When young people play with fire (a pyre) this often happens
their structure is consumed. Their lives transformed and perhaps
even destroyed. Sorry ! You`re poem triggered something morbid
in me . It was a nice poem and I`m sure it was not meant to bring that
sort of reaction, perhaps because it is a cloudy, humid day that I responded
in this strange way.
You write beautifully, the construction is unique and the language descriptive.
Altogether a beautiful poem.
Write more.

[E. J. Gette]

Wow! Okay, from this point on I PROMISE not to disregard your work because of your age. Very thought very powerful piece. It flows well.

WRITE ON!!

[Steven Silvey]

Requiems of my soul pirouette in your eyes,
An untamed desire on elegant lips,

Aside from that, great rhyme.

Great structure and flow as well.

Sinful thoughts promise a spark to the fire
That silently whisper a longing for pyre.

Great lines.