A Pretty Little Habit

He has a little habit, such

a pretty little habit of

delivering funny tributes

on occasions small and large.

Did you see the card he sent me

with the black crepe and the

graveyard with one cartoonish

headstone inscribed "You're

more than half way here."

Now wasn't that amusing?

Wasn't that the very limit?

Of course, he had that habit

that charming little habit of

finding the right thing to say

no matter circumstance.

The last time we had breakfast,

he was "shocked" at my appearance,

and he counseled me to eat right,

and to get my nightly rest.

"Of course," he said, "there's not much

to disturb you under covers - 

no lovers waking you at dawn 

or even in the night.

Old age has its compensations."

And he said it with a grin. 

And I grinned back:

for I've a little habit

and I find it so amusing,

just so righteous and amusing,

And it's something that will soothe him,

make him gentle, make him quiet.

If he only could be quiet,

really quiet, deathly quiet,

then he might not have to die.

 

 

 

Author's Note

Please feel free to critique. Thanks, Holly
**Edited because the original didn't sound right to me. Too clunky in spots. hr

Reviews

[Star Cross]

Honestly, this poem sent a chill down my spine. It was very well-expressed and it kept me wanting for more. You used the repetition at the right moments unlike most writers who repeat unnecessary facts in every place. However, you used it to emphasize many of the points and to hit the core of the poem to make it come alive not only from words but also emotion. You're a true writer.

[Ken Simm.]

Oh excellent Holly. I think it flows well and covers all bases.

[Raef C. Boylan]

On my first read, I didn't view it as a muderous poem; I thought the end was the narrator fondly expressing their regret about their friend's mortality. Having read D A G's review, I see it now in a whole new light.
That maybe sounds dumb, but I thought this was a piece about the exceptions we make for, and privileges we allow, our friends...I'm not articulating very well, but yeah.
I think I enjoyed it a little more when it seemed vague and complex like that, but I still really like it, and it's a bit more exciting/tense when we know it's building up to that threatening climax.

The rhythm is quite jaunty and fun...with the new killing context, I get a sense of the narrator speaking maniacally through gritted teeth haha.

Some people forget that not everyone shares their sense of humour/is cheered by it when they're at their lowest...this poem is a great demonstration of that.

I enjoyed reading this.
Thanks for posting it.

[Damian Alan Gray]

This proves that even the messy business of murder can be somewhat civilized. Nice work, Holly, and thanks for entering it in the Vicious Parker contest.

[Emily B]

This is wickedly charming. A pretty little poem for certain.