A Pretty Little Habit

He has a little habit, such

a pretty little habit of

delivering funny tributes

on occasions small and large.

Did you see the card he sent me

with the black crepe and the

graveyard with one cartoonish

headstone inscribed "You're

more than half way here."

Now wasn't that amusing?

Wasn't that the very limit?

Of course, he had that habit

that charming little habit of

finding the right thing to say

no matter circumstance.

The last time we had breakfast,

he was "shocked" at my appearance,

and he counseled me to eat right,

and to get my nightly rest.

"Of course," he said, "there's not much

to disturb you under covers - 

no lovers waking you at dawn 

or even in the night.

Old age has its compensations."

And he said it with a grin. 

And I grinned back:

for I've a little habit

and I find it so amusing,

just so righteous and amusing,

And it's something that will soothe him,

make him gentle, make him quiet.

If he only could be quiet,

really quiet, deathly quiet,

then he might not have to die.

 

 

 

Author's Note

Please feel free to critique. Thanks, Holly
**Edited because the original didn't sound right to me. Too clunky in spots. hr

Reviews

[Star Cross]

Honestly, this poem sent a chill down my spine. It was very well-expressed and it kept me wanting for more. You used the repetition at the right moments unlike most writers who repeat unnecessary facts in every place. However, you used it to emphasize many of the points and to hit the core of the poem to make it come alive not only from words but also emotion. You're a true writer.

[Samuel Dickens]

I love the little macabre final note. Up until that point, it seemed fairly innocent and then....."bam!" you changed the character of the entire piece with one word.

[James K. Blaylock]

I found this piece to be fun and funny, it had me right from the start. And honestly, don't we sometimes picture ourselves closing those big mouthed peoples' traps - by whatever means - lol! Great work.

jkb

[cyanskye]

I get an Edgar Allen Poe vibe when I read this. The repetition and timing are just right. Delightfully evil.

[SN]

Now this one, I don't just love, I ADORED this one!
Again it builds up very nicely, and the shift at the end. I agree, you do make it come alive through emotion.

[Ninelilies]

I don't know that it needs anything. My grandmother always had a saying on how to retort to people that speak to you like trash. "If you can't be nasty, be nasy-nice." This narrator of this poem endures so...lady-like. I think it's amazing--S

[Spat Queen]

I like the way the poems seems to reciprocate the sentiments of the card that is spoken of in the beginning of the poem. The poem becomes the inscription on his headstone!

[PianoandPage]

devilish!

the meter throughout is almost perfect. the first 9 lines are divine. they trip off the tongue in a sing-song manner.

this smacks of a gothic version of "arsenic and old lace". i love the characters you play with here. the almost lighthearted tone with the practiced menace beneath. it's genius and i'm going to pass this along to my girl "cutedeath" who often writes with dark intent as well.

[Rick Puetter]

Hi Holly,

Maniacal is the word. The mad chantings of a madman. Awesome and haunting, and reminiscent of Edgar Allen Poe. Well done. I loved it.

Best regards,

Rick

[HoorayForUnderdog]

I LOVE this poem! The phrase repetition is chilling! I am going to add it to my favorites!!

[Susan S.]

WoW! A Dorothy Parker moment if I ever read one! It also has a bit of the "Pirates of Penzance" about it. I don't think I'll be looking at Gilbert and Sullivan in quite the same light. LOL