I get two different views of this. One of a marraige where two are sharing moments together and the other subtle hints of a marraige falling apart depending on how one reads it. Not sure which you were going for (or if both), but this is well written and takes me to those moments spoken of. I can smell the trees and the lake as well as feel it all with this piece. Good work no matter the meaning.
I'm not much on commenting on how close you stand to your Muse; but, I can see and say you are a wonderful and brave lady, and life has found you worthy...
I really like how the audience can either try to cling to the hopeful lines "back to my old love" (and cutting through the gloom) or focus on the literal trouble signs "dead end" and "silence". All very thought provoking word choices and a complex poem bound to make readers return to consider the meaning. Good stuff!
Holly, wonderful poem. Your imagery is superb and sublime. I can see those dark green pines trees, smell that glorious perfume. More important, I see a relationship finding its sea-legs in the silence of two souls returning to a place of calm waters. I like the steady pacing, the one-two punch of the external backdrop to the internal landscape. 'Compass set to tolerance' is a very nice phrase. My first marriage fell apart much like this couple. No yelling or fighting, just a quiet acceptance of the road ahead, 'the fragile road' that slips away in the dusk, the road that was never meant to be. You write like William Trevor, about the highest praise I know to give.
I get the impression that this is a couple that is attempting to salvage their love by taking one last trip to a place that once meant something to them. You actually did well with the description because it took me back to vacations on Douglas Lake in Michigan when I was a child. My favorite lines were, "We navigate our destination's end, my compass set for tolerance..." Very well written.
A poem can do so many things. This one sets a time and place and mood exquisitely. It doesn't reveal much about the participants, but that's one for another work.
I get two different views of this. One of a marraige where two are sharing moments together and the other subtle hints of a marraige falling apart depending on how one reads it. Not sure which you were going for (or if both), but this is well written and takes me to those moments spoken of. I can smell the trees and the lake as well as feel it all with this piece. Good work no matter the meaning.
Do we get to choose who we are, or are we limited by where we live, how we grow up, what we do to earn money? My unchosen facts: I'm old, live in the eastern Mid-West US, grew up with a huge chip on m.. more..