Untitled Chapter 13 (Questions)

    My eyes flutter open to the darkness of my room. The alarm clock reads 5:48, which means I can get in twelve more minutes of sleep. But it’s not like needing sleep is a good enough reason anymore. No matter how hard I try, it’s impossible to go to sleep and stay that way.
    All day yesterday after Dad had to pick me up from school, I’d been trying to escape reality for just a moment. I’d eaten a big meal, then taken some Nyquil like I usually do when I want to sleep, but can’t. I’ve been waking up every two hours since one o’clock yesterday afternoon.
    And it’s not even because the shadows. They still aren’t coming around, and that definitely means that Michael is somewhere out there.
    That’s what scares me.
    I just can’t believe that Michael’s order had been to kill me.
    As I climb out of bed to brush my teeth, curl my hair, do my make up and get dressed, a million and one questions run through my head.
    Why me?
    Why save me?
    Why lie to me?
    Why are Gabby and Erin back?
    When did they get back?
    What is Michael’s original plan?
    What is he going to do now?
    Why wasn’t he there when I woke up in the health room?
    Will he try to talk to me?
    What will he say?
    Will he explain?
    What happens now?
    Where is he?
    Why hasn’t he tried to talk to me already?
    How come I’m not asking him these questions?
    I have so many questions. Questions I should have asked a long time ago, but haven’t. I don’t have a clue about anything anymore. I’m only sure that I can’t be around Michael right now. I need to have some time and space to be able to think.
    But some tiny, irrational part of me wants Michael to be here explaining everything to me.
    But then again, that would just be handing a choice to me. A choice that might not be the right one.
     "Lia, honey." My dad's voice calls just when I'm picking up my purse and leaving.
     I go to open my door.
     "Can you go to Aunty Lisa's house after school and pick up the cooler from her?" He says.
     I can smell the alcohol on his breath. His face is flushed and patchy and his eyes--the eyes are the same sapphire color as mine, yet unrecognizable--are pink.
     Something inside me snaps.
     "Jeez, Dad, you can't pull it together long enough to run an errand?" I demand. "Just put down the freaking Vodka bottle for once and get your pathetic life together."
     "Lia--"
     "I mean, while you're out late every night drowning yourself in whatever kind of booze you decide you want that night--or morning, or afternoon!--I'm stuck doing everything on my own! I had to pull Josh away from the drugs and alcohol, I shouldn't have to be doing it for you, too. Trust me, in the past two years, I've done you enough favors, try asking again when you're sober."
     He looks, well, confused, to be honest. Like I've snapped at him out of the blue, which I admit, I have. But he's had it coming. Just not now. The thought of Michael was still bouncing around in my head and it made me...upset.
     "What's going on?" Josh asks, appear behind our father.
     "Nothing." I say. "Let's go."

***

    
    “What’s wrong?” Amy asks me when we sit in the courtyard waiting for the bell to ring.
    “Nothing. I’m fine.” I almost cringe. When I tell this particular lie, I always sound airy and my voice rises.
    “What’s wrong?” Amy insists.    
    “I’m fine.” I say firmly.
    She give me the “do I look stupid to you?” look.
    “I’m fine.” I repeat.
    Thankfully, she drops it. It’s never been like her or anyone else that I might be friends with to pry. Usually, I’ll just come out and tell them, but I think it’ll be a little difficult to say, “Michael is the archangel, he’s been following me for the past week and a half to protect me when really, his job was to kill me because the other attempt God sent out for me failed.”
    Almost unwillingly, I turn to look at Michael. He gazes back at me for a moment before getting up.
    “Will you come walking with me?” I ask Amy quickly.
    “Sure.” She says without hesitating.
    Usually, when we go walking, it’s like an emergency get away. Just the two of us and we dish out whatever’s been bother, but I have no intention of telling her what’s wrong. I just need to get away from Michael.
    "Lia." Michael says, stepping out in front of me. "Can we talk?"
    I have so many questions to ask him. I want to talk to him, but I can't. Still, I'm not willing to show that somethings off between us, because Amy might just report it to a teacher or something.
    "Not now." I say with a weak smile. "I'll see you in class." My eyes beg him to just play along.
    He seems to understand. He nods once and Amy and I walk away.
    "So still hangin' out with him, huh?" Amy says.
    "Yeah." I lie, my tone turning airy and light again.
    "So what's wrong, then?" She asks.
    "It's not important." My voice remains normal, although this could be the farthest thing from the truth. "I think I'm just gonna get my period soon."
     I almost crack. Almost. I open my mouth to spill out the truth, but when I look back and see Michael sitting at the table, his blue eyes following me, I close my mouth. It's not exactly that he'd ever told me not to tell or that he was looking at me in a way that said not to tell...I just can't do that to him.
    So I close my mouth, shove down the urge and come up with something that isn't quite a lie.
    "I snapped at my father this morning." I say.
     But sadly enough, this isn't what's bothering me at all.
     "What kind of snap?" She asks.
     "My kind."
     I only ever snap when I want a relationship to end. When I snap at someone, it's the end of us.
     Amy walks besides me, listening as I tell her what had happened. She gives me the advice, tells me the truth about what she thinks, and comforts me with the thought of prom tonight.