Raw

My heart feels raw and thick and

sludge-like.

My hair feels like a set of old smelly

furniture tassels sewn onto my

scalp.

My blistered bruised toes feel like

the tender pride that I hide inside

of my tough leather combat boots

that I refuse to admit are still

a size too small.

My skin crawling with mites

the second one crosses my

mind.

Mites on the mind

Inside the mind

Triggering false responses

No holding a potential weapon

without a flash of blood

behind my eyes

that barely even registers anymore

The hair on my calves, armpits

inner thighs,

Thin and light, but still present,

As indecisive as I am

So it just stays there.

Unwilling to admit that inaction

is as much a decision in itself.

The tension in my jaw will never

subside

Until it's cracked with one

last punch. 

Author's Note

one I forced myself to write; my apologies

Reviews

[jacob erin-cilberto]

it almost feels like one contemplating suicide...being so indecisive...having all the symptoms of mental and physical anguish...and wanting to get out of his own body, own mind, own heart...
feeling he wants that last punch...too indecisive to give himself that devastating left hook that could end it.
very intense write...being on the edge of infinite darkness.
j.

[John the Baptist]

No apology necessary. Sounds almost like tactile hallucinations. If they don't pass, please get help.

[lizardbrain]

daaang, keeping it real! I appreciate that.