Making My Way

Just a short thought

MAKING MY WAY

                                   MY JOURNEY THROUGH THE DEBRIS

            Craig Hollister

Another day spinning on a planet called Earth. Surviving in a country called America. Trying to fix my broken identity. I sell magic carpets. The smoothest rides of your life. Last month I was top salesman at the Cadillac dealership up on Main Street. I got a handshake from my boss, and the best parking spot for the rest of this month. If I’m top salesman two months in a row, I get a new office chair. Oh, and my wife will love me more. More success means more love in America.

I used to dream a lot. I had a hidden personality of success. A multi business owner, who would donate large sums of cash to the needy. Taking rides on my private luxury rail car, throughout America. Drinking the best Bourbon, and looking out the window as the train passed by farm fields and cities of no name. In reality, I was no more than a dirty dishwasher at a local family restaurant and a big flirt to the waitresses. I was fine. Happy. Content. Until the commercials came into view.

Now I wanted things. The best toothpaste. A new car. A better body. Things chicks love in a guy. My happy identity was fading. I was changing into the creature of goods that I am now. No more fantasizing about Little House on the Prairie and living off the land in the wild frontier. No. This is better, and all my teeth are white as snow.

I married my double. A chick that wanted the best toothpaste and a better body. We hold hands when we shop. We have dreams of renewing our vows so we can have a bigger wedding ceremony. We go to bed at night, watching tv. We live for the weekend so we can shop. We look down on the begging homeless, because they're not like us.

Who am I? I’m a Levis man. A Deere guy. A St Louis Cardinal fan. And a former Oldsmobile man, they don't make them anymore. I am the products I buy. A living billboard. I walk around wearing a Coke It’s The Real Thing T shirt. I would not survive in Europe, would I? They would laugh at me, shun me. “There goes another American guy, who has no real clue as to who he is”. Well...I could get my identity back I suppose.

What if I left my wife, quit work, and lived out my days on the streets? That's the true test of manhood and identity keeping. I have never heard a homeless guy being a Ford or a Chevy man. But, in my wife's eye, I would have the identity as a bum. A loafer. In my own eye, I would know exactly who I am. Living outside I would have no outside influences trying to identify me. I would be a survivor. To me that has a better ring to it, than say, being a Chevy man.

It’s always easier to let others dictate who you are. It’s easy for oneself to say I’m a Chevy man, or I’m a farmer. Not one who simply drives a Chevy or farms for a living. It’s always easy to fit in with the mob, than create something new. For that, I’ll always be a Levis man.

Reviews

[Amanda Cary]

A man struggling with loss of his identity. I don't feel that this is a dig at all, but a valid accurate process of thought that comes with the crumbling of first a kingdom, then the king. Sometimes the kingdom never crumbles at all, but it is the king sitting amongst his rubies only to realize he never learned where they came from.

I don't agree that writing should only be a way of teaching or helping others. I believe you, if you are writing for yourself, should write for yourself, and others may take from it what they will. Some of the greatest pieces in history were of self-loathing, vile, and full of hatred. This strikes me as self-reflection, in which we attempt to blame, then choose to fall apart for the sake of what this character feels would be considered living. He had everything he wanted, lost it, realized he was living a shallow facade of expectation, and is now wading through with no destination and no rutters.

I would love to see more of this. See him fall even deeper. See him develop. People are scared of this because it is a reality we are taught to ignore. Scare us and make us red raw!

This is great!

[Jessica Jaufmann]

Aw, come on. Don't generalize a whole nation. Not all Americans are brand w****s and not all Europeans are fully realized beings. With that being said, these does have some great incite to an individuals mind and how they cope with how they've been raised. A great start and could maybe be expanded upon to tell us the story of this narrator and his journey to finding out who he really is. Unless you'd prefer him to stay materialistic, it is all your choice. But I'll offer some advice. Don't write to preach. Write to help others. Be a writer who reaches their readers with material that they can take lessons away from. This, unfortunate, seems like a slam piece and doesn't really help anyone but the author. If that's the case, then it doesn't belong on a site where all can see. Go through it again and really think about who you want this character to be.