Life

This is nothing but my thoughts on my own life.

The obscurities

of this life I lead

I wander on 

perpetually

we reach the end

oh not yet I plead

these lives we live

aren't so meaningless.

Not yet half-way there

I must continue

experiences I seak

pleasures to enjoy

life is so much more

we cannot comprehend.

These needs of the flesh

are petty indeed

my potential without

I can reach to the fullest

for once I let go

of these earthly desires

I will have finally lived.

Author's Note

I was writing this as if each stanza were a different thought going through my head.

Reviews

[Ees]

Hmmm... I don't like the use of end and endlessly so close together.... it sounds off and I am sure that you could have picked a more interesting word for one of them. I don't know what obscurities of life are. That isn't a bad thing, I just feel like there could have been an example put in place...

after the first stanza I come to enjoy the poem much more! It is more smooth and clear there.

and this poem reminds me of my friend Christian when he is drunk. Not that this sounds like a drunk person... it just sounds like how he talks when he is on a roll... I mean, not that he speaks quite that well.... it is just... oh
hour one: I'm just searching for a deeper meaning
hour two: there's got to be more to life, right?
hour-3-passing out: ya know what, I just don't give a f**k.

hahah. anyway, nice work.

[Harrisen Viator]

You do have a good point for endlessly and end, but what I meant by that was, that I feel like life just goes on and it feels like forever, but the end is really abrupt and takes us by surprise. (I now realize that I didn't make it clear enought)
And when I say obscurities I was mainly saying that I don't understand life.
And thank you for your review, I enjoy how you paraphrased my poem by comparing it to your friend.
-Harrisen

[Ees]

The point that I was attempting to make with the end and endlessly had nothing to do with the concept that those words portray, but rather the sound that those two words make when read so close together. I'd keep the "end" and uses something like "ceaselessly" for endless... I don't know if it makes more sense if I explain it that way?

Well it did remind me of something that my friend would say if he were a poet rather than a drunk. haha. (Aren't most drunks poets in a sense?) Anyway, nice work.

[Harrisen Viator]

Yeah endlessly and end do sound weird together, I'll have to think of a good synonym to reword it with. I'll put some thought into it.
Yeah, that's a good way to put it haha. You just gotta love drunk friends.