Clouded Minds

Clouded Minds

A Poem by Harrisen Viator
"

Nothing matters. Just be you.

"
Our minds are clouded
by different stimuli.
We're broken down,
taking drugs
to get the fix in us.
Opened up, puff puff
just pass it along.
I understand life is tough, but
keep your head up
be strong.
You can make it,
I believe in you.
Whenever someone wants to judge,
just be you.

© 2013 Harrisen Viator


Author's Note

Harrisen Viator
Let me know what you think about it.
Is it too simple? What is it missing? Is there too much of anything?

My Review

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Featured Review

Not bad. You have a good concept and this is very relatable, which is always a plus. I don't think you need the all-caps 'YOU' at the very end - seems like you're trying a little too hard there, and you'd get a more placid and solemn tone with it uncapitalized. Other than that, this is nicely done. Good work.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Harrisen Viator

11 Years Ago

Thank you for the review! Yeah, the "YOU" was a last minute addition to the poem when I was typing i.. read more



Reviews

Not bad. You have a good concept and this is very relatable, which is always a plus. I don't think you need the all-caps 'YOU' at the very end - seems like you're trying a little too hard there, and you'd get a more placid and solemn tone with it uncapitalized. Other than that, this is nicely done. Good work.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Harrisen Viator

11 Years Ago

Thank you for the review! Yeah, the "YOU" was a last minute addition to the poem when I was typing i.. read more

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182 Views
1 Review
Added on April 14, 2013
Last Updated on April 14, 2013
Tags: inspiration, inspirational, mind, stimuli, stimulus, judge, you, life, broken
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Author

Harrisen Viator
Harrisen Viator

Dallas, TX



About
Twenty years old. Moving forward. soundcloud.com/harrisen-viator more..

Writing