Not bad. You have a good concept and this is very relatable, which is always a plus. I don't think you need the all-caps 'YOU' at the very end - seems like you're trying a little too hard there, and you'd get a more placid and solemn tone with it uncapitalized. Other than that, this is nicely done. Good work.
Thank you for the review! Yeah, the "YOU" was a last minute addition to the poem when I was typing i.. read moreThank you for the review! Yeah, the "YOU" was a last minute addition to the poem when I was typing it up to upload here. I do agree with you though, and thanks for pointing that out.
-Harrisen
Not bad. You have a good concept and this is very relatable, which is always a plus. I don't think you need the all-caps 'YOU' at the very end - seems like you're trying a little too hard there, and you'd get a more placid and solemn tone with it uncapitalized. Other than that, this is nicely done. Good work.
Thank you for the review! Yeah, the "YOU" was a last minute addition to the poem when I was typing i.. read moreThank you for the review! Yeah, the "YOU" was a last minute addition to the poem when I was typing it up to upload here. I do agree with you though, and thanks for pointing that out.
-Harrisen