November 11, 2012

I texted Lill.

Me: I broke the engagement off.

Lill: What?! Whyyyyyy????

Me: My mom found out. Sort of. She finally saw the ring on my finger. Took her long enough. Then of course she made a statement to make my stomach whirl. She was like 'I don't think you should start keeping secrets from me now. I don't think you should hide things from me'. Stuff like that. I dont even know what I think anymore.

Being engaged at sixteen. What do you think about it? What do I even think about it? I can't tell people, I can't tell the world, I can't have an engagement party, I can't take pictures, I can't change my relationship status on facebook. Just a couple of the dilemma that occur with being sixteen with a ring on your finger.

Lill: Wow. Well what do you want? 

Me: I have been trying not to admit it, but i think i really don't feel conferrable being engaged at such a young age. He's my first long-term, real boyfriend. He's my first love, my first everything. What if my head is clouded?

Lill: Is it?

Me: I don't know. 

Author's Note

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