I'm not sure how to interpret the overall message here, but I really like a few of the ideas & how you express them. First, I totally relate to the feeling that the whole world must surely be enjoying quiet & dark, all except me, as I lie here spinning with endless thoughts -- the curse of insomnia so well described. And the 3rd stanza is a brilliant expression of insomnia, especially love "froth formed from my mind." It's so true that silence is a curse to the insomniac & background noise helps drown out the deafening voices. I'm just not clear on the final inquiry. It's a good question, but I'm not inspired to come up with any answers . . . I'm stuck in the repetitious cycle of insomnia, I guess!
Posted 8 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
8 Years Ago
Thank you for reading my writing. You hit the nail right on the head, "I'm stuck in the repetitious.. read moreThank you for reading my writing. You hit the nail right on the head, "I'm stuck in the repetitious cycle of insomnia," is the question I am asking in the last line.
I'm not sure how to interpret the overall message here, but I really like a few of the ideas & how you express them. First, I totally relate to the feeling that the whole world must surely be enjoying quiet & dark, all except me, as I lie here spinning with endless thoughts -- the curse of insomnia so well described. And the 3rd stanza is a brilliant expression of insomnia, especially love "froth formed from my mind." It's so true that silence is a curse to the insomniac & background noise helps drown out the deafening voices. I'm just not clear on the final inquiry. It's a good question, but I'm not inspired to come up with any answers . . . I'm stuck in the repetitious cycle of insomnia, I guess!
Posted 8 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
8 Years Ago
Thank you for reading my writing. You hit the nail right on the head, "I'm stuck in the repetitious.. read moreThank you for reading my writing. You hit the nail right on the head, "I'm stuck in the repetitious cycle of insomnia," is the question I am asking in the last line.
This is a very good poem. I really liked it. The ending line made me think of dying. "In the end, I wonder is there an end?" That's the ultimate agnostic question.
Posted 8 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
8 Years Ago
Thank you for reading and reviewing my poem. Yes, that final line could be taken agnostically. Someo.. read moreThank you for reading and reviewing my poem. Yes, that final line could be taken agnostically. Someone questioning what comes after we leave our bodies. I think all my metaphysical poems will have a different meaning to the reader depending on the state of their soul and spirit. Oh, just to be clear, I am not an agnostic. I think I come closest to being a gnostic if anything, reading things like the Tao of Pooh, Dancing Wu Li Masters, Incognito: The Secret Lives of the Brain and so on have formed many of my views.
A very good poem, sir. Good use of imagery and paradox. 'Black inky darkness'- darkness has been described in a sweet manner. Glad, you shared this poem of yours.
I am a computer consultant and creative writer. I should also tell you a number of my writings are inspired by on-line encounters I have in virtual worlds of various natures. Often these worlds spill .. more..