Spring's Sun

Spring's Sun

The sun shines brightly through the windows reaching

into the once deep dark corners of the house.

I go outside and see a few remaining piles of brilliant white snow.

The buds on the forsythia are on the verge of bursting,

eager to reveal their yellow hidden core.

Early spring bulbs push greedily upwards,

their green tips barely above the wet earth.

I feel a heavenly warm breeze softly caress my body.

The sun hits my neck and my back and the warmth sinks deep into me.

The back of my legs tingles at the sun's lovely touch.

I stand here for a long time looking up at the azure sky

and can almost hear the heraldic trumpets.

My eyes close and I see bright beautiful red with undertones of pink.

Slowly, I turn around with my eyes still closed.

I know now I am facing the sun.

My head turns upwards towards its blazing glory.

With my eyes still closed I see a red so intense.

It seems impossible to fathom.

I feel the sun's rays hitting my face, and slowly I smile.

My body soaks in the energy that it has missed for what feels like ages.

My entire being is a solar cell.

I turn this radiation into pure unblemished energy.

This energy heals my mind, my heart, my soul and my body.

I am feeling something that I never felt before.

I am feeling it like it could be the last time.

A stronger warmer breeze caresses my face,

and my knees almost buckle beneath me.

For one brief moment, I feel at one with the universe.

I feel at peace for a split second.

I feel timeless.

I process.

I am processed.

I love.

I am loved.

I exist.

Reviews

[Marianne Rose]

Beautiful poem, taking us from the experience of seeing the beauty around us- you described this so well- to the experience of facing the sun and becoming one with the universe. I love the process of your turning to the sun, and surrendering to what it has to give you- that extraordinary moment that is suspended and filled with so much love. Great peace and revelation emanate from this poem. Thank you.

[H.L. Cerveise]

Thank you for reading and reviewing my poem. It was such a great moment of peace, and I had no choice but to write about it. I am glad you liked it.

[Emily]

Lovely poem!
Keep it up!!

[H.L. Cerveise]

Thank you for reading and reviewing my writing.

[Coyote Poetry]

A amazing poem.
"I feel timeless.
I process.
I am processed.
I love.
I am loved.
I exist."
The above lines. Strong and true. I enjoyed the complete poem. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[H.L. Cerveise]

Thank you so much for your review, I am glad you liked it. The experience was very intense. I had no choice but to put it down in writing.

[Coyote Poetry]

You did very well and you are welcome.

[Zaliodir]

Ah, sometimes there is that moment where we just have to sit and enjoy being. A pleasantly refreshing poem, thank you. =)

[H.L. Cerveise]

Thank you for reviewing this poem. Moments like this are such refreshing experiences and fun to write about.

[manisha]

Nice poem perfectly picturized. I enjoyed it

[H.L. Cerveise]

Thank you for reading and reviewing my poem. I am glad you liked it.

[William Liston]

Overall, I really enjoyed reading this poem. I loved the vocabulary along with the vivid descriptions of nature and how it gave you an enthralling experience. I also like how you shortened the lines at the end; doing that really helped with this poem's pacing. That, along with the stunning picture and font choice really made this poem great. My only problem with this poem is that I don't understand some of your choices regarding punctuation.

In the lines "The buds on the forsythia are on the verge of bursting/eager to reveal their yellow hidden core" I'd suggest putting a comma after bursting. I'm not sure if that is grammatically correct (I think it is) but it helps with the pacing in my opinion.

In the lines "Early spring bulbs push greedily upwards/their green tips barely above the wet earth" there needs to be a semicolon after upwards, or you could put a period after upwards and make "Their green..." its own sentence.

In the line "The sun hits my neck, and my back..." the comma is unnecessary.

I'd suggest making the following line into one sentence instead of two: "I am feeling something. I never felt before."

In the lines "A stronger warmer breeze caresses my face/and my knees almost buckle beneath me" there needs to be a comma after face.

I'm not sure if you used that punctuation for a reason, but if you did, I'd suggest just using proper grammar. That's, however, not a deal-breaker. I still enjoyed reading this.

-William Liston

[H.L. Cerveise]

Thank you for reading and reviewing my poem. I am glad you enjoyed it. Thank you so much for catching the grammar issues. I did not say to ignore the grammar issues on purpose, so that you and others would look closer at it. I agreed with all your changes and have made them. The funny thing is my grammar checker program insists on putting the comma after the word neck. I wrote this originally when I was not doing punctuation on purpose; however, I am trying to go through all my writings and add it in when it makes sense. I will not put it in or fix a grammar issue if I feel it will change too much what I am trying to convey. I of course then try to point that out in the notes.

I do like the flow better now with the suggestion you made. Thank you my fellow Warrior Poet.

[Nessly]

Beautiful imagery. Thanks for sharing.

[H.L. Cerveise]

Thank you for reading and reviewing my poem. I made all the changes that William suggested on his review and I feel it flows a little better now.

[Nessly]

Oh, I like the changes. :)

[iamshadowine]

"I feel timeless.
I process.
I am processed.
I love.
I am loved.
I exist."
wonderful ending!!
keep writing :D

[Diamond]

I must tell you that it is the magic of a soul connection...it is unique, divine yet painful

[H.L. Cerveise]

Thank you for reading and reviewing my poem. I am glad you liked the ending. That part was the part that flowed the easiest through my mind and heart when I wrote it.