The Foe

As I promised there would be more from Legion. This was written while in the throes of a cancer diagnoses. In this, you get to see a few parts of Legion. It is dedicated to cancer suffers.

The Foe

With strong arms, the warrior raises his crimson stained sword against the mighty Foe.

Death for the cause emboldens me in a strong clear voice he shouts.

The Foe peers down with its fierce coal colored eyes at the fearless warrior and laughs.

I see that you have great courage, but the battle belongs to another.

Traveling steadfast pilgrim carefully picks his path and looks ahead at the wavering Foe.

Death will bring the journey to the end and to a final conclusion he proclaims.

The Foe reaches across space and time with a shimmering gray hand and slaps the pilgrim.

I see that you have traveled far, but the journey belongs to another.

Ever pondering thinker carefully studies the foggy Foe.

Death burns away the mist, and clear bright white light can be seen.

The Foe chuckles with his moist breath and increases the gloomy murk.

I see you have sought answers, but the answer belongs to another.

A child scampers, jumps and plays around the forbidding Foe.

Death cannot catch me and giggles as he tries to run away.

The Foe takes its foot and steps on the child's toes and pins him down.

I see you played hard and long, but the game belongs to another.

Carefully, the wise old man tactfully approaches the powerful Foe.

Death has spared me in times past surely it will again. He muses.

The Foe feels the old man's heart beating strong in his chest and squeezes it.

I see you have gained wisdom through the years, but the knowledge belongs to another.

Legion struggles and starts to gather all and begins to surround the formidable Foe.

Death cannot stand against one voice, and one great force Legion pronounces?

The Foe says thickly, darkly and with a slow chuckle.

I am the bringer of both pleasure and pain. This does belong to you.

Legion is stabbed thirteen times by the sharp glistening point of reality.

Death pushes hard causing great pain long forgotten, and Legion stumbles.

The Foe is stabbed thirteen times by the sharp glistening point of reality.

I bring great pain for this intrusion. This suffering does belong to you.

Legion hears the malignant word and steps back, processes and wonders.

Death grows in the dark recesses but there are options.

The Foe now provoked, enraged flashes a toothy grin at Legion.

I force a question, and the answer does belong to you.

Legion seeks knowledge and more understandings of the multi-layered Foe.

The options are many, but all encased with darkness and uncertainty.

The Foe throws chaos at the opinions of those most wise casting doubt in Legion.

I will not allow you to find one true answer but pick. You must.

To be continued...

Author's Note

As I promised there would be more from Legion. This was written while in the throes of a cancer diagnoses. In this, you get to see a few parts of Legion. It is dedicated to cancer suffers.

Reviews

[Emily]

Loved this!
Keep on writing!!
Keep it up!

[H.L. Cerveise]

Thank you for reading and reviewing my poem.

[Coyote Poetry]

A very strong start for the story. I like the feel of ancient times and struggle. The good description brought to life places and situations. You left the reader with a wide open ending. Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

[H.L. Cerveise]

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing this writing. The wide-open ending is how cancer is, you have to go through the rest of your life wondering if you are cured, or that it will come back.

[Coyote Poetry]

It is a hard place to be and you are welcome.

[manisha]

Yea its really tough when u know u have cancer and its stronger than u and if u lost in this battel result is death. U have described great imagery.

[H.L. Cerveise]

Thank you for reading and reviewing my poem. It is true cancer is a battle and to lose is not an option. I have decided that I need to make this writing better and might even do a version of it as a short story.

[Marianne Rose]

I love going stanza to stanza meeting the different people who engage the Foe. I love that the Foe will not consider any of them worthy of this battle, until they unite- if I'm interpreting this correctly. It is a mystical battle, and though it's easy to tell who the allies are, when they join, I think, as Legion, they aren't as sympathetic to me- because the name is so often associated with the devil in my circles. But a Legion is also a group poised for war, with form and command structure, so I can get used to the name if I look at it this way. Having walked down the cancer road with many family members and friends, I appreciate the mystical part of this journey- and your story is filled with the mystical, as well as true people, aspects or archetypes each facing the Foe differently and, here, failing until Legion comes. Strength in numbers. Balance of all the aspects of the fight against cancer. It captures these ideas for me. Looking forward to what happens next . . . Thank you!

[H.L. Cerveise]

Thank you so much for your in-depth review of this story poem. I have been chatting with another poet about some changes I can make to make this piece even better. You are so on target in what you say in so many ways, in answer to your one observation about Legion. Legion is me; however, the different psyches' are inside but some are made up of reflections of external people. You are also accurate that I talk about others that are outside trying to support and help. I do wish the negative aspect of Legion from Mark 5:9 would not be in the forefront of readers' minds. Because you are correct, Legion that is me is a group united and poised for war not the demons (well maybe some are but that is another writing). I may have to figure a way to bring that definition more to the reader's mind.

[iamshadowine]

there's an amazing story back there! wonderful! keep writing :D

[H.L. Cerveise]

Thank you for reading and reviewing my writing.

[Nessly]

You always create such beautiful imagery in your work. This piece is no exception. Although, I do find it a little dense for a poem. The story and imagery are solid. Good job.

[H.L. Cerveise]

Thank you for reading and writing my writing. I agree with you in the "dense for a poem," I have always thought this. There were a number of voices that wanted to be heard, which made it hard. I have been thinking of going through this writing and adding quotes to help with understanding who is talking. Do you think that would help with the denseness? On the other hand, if you have a different idea, I would love to hear them.

[Nessly]

Quotes may help. Expressing your idea as concise as possible is also something to think about. Overall, it's a great piece. I enjoyed reading it.

[H.L. Cerveise]

I do agree with the concise statement also. I will do the quotes and look at each line as I do that to see what I can drop or change to shorten some of the lines. I have also not liked the length of the lines; however, I am concerned about also not losing the images and the characters I am painting. This should also be labeled a story poem. I will make the change right away. The quotes I feel will help immensely in letting the reader understand who is talking.

[Nessly]

I feel the same way about the quotes. Overall, it's an enchanting story.

[H.L. Cerveise]

Just so you know I posted a story that is not a story. It is about how to review writings as Warrior Poets. I have had this on my mind for a while now. I have seen some hurtful reviews come across the screen. The way you review is terrific, by the way, and I wanted to acknowledge that publicly.

[Nessly]

Thanks. Although, sometimes I feel as though I need to give a more thorough review by focusing on the who, what, when, where, why, and how....

[H.L. Cerveise]

This is a learning experience, so we all can keep changing how we write and review. You can focus in a little more if you want. For example, in my case you said "dense" which helped confirm what I thought about the issues in this writing. You could have been even more direct if you wanted. You could have said, "I sometimes can't tell who is talking." Alternatively, "Do you think quotes would help?" Always do like you did also say what you liked about the writing.

However, the way you did it was great. It allowed me to read the review and decide if I wanted to pursue exactly what you meant by the review. That way if I was a writer who did not care if the readers were getting what they were trying to say, they will not ask question. You have offended no one, nor dampened their spirit for writing.

[Nessly]

That's good to know. I'm happy I could help. I guess I just remember writing longer reviews for college courses, lol.

[Diamond]

"A child scampers, jumps and plays around the forbidding Foe.
Death cannot catch me and giggles as he tries to run away.
The Foe takes its foot and steps on the child's toes and pins him down."

This is the most delicate part, that you touched and I must admit that it has been a reality for many.:(

[H.L. Cerveise]

Thank you so much for reviewing this writing. Cancer is a spirit crusher, and I was trying to show that, and I see you did as you always seem to do.