Doubts and mistrust

Nicole's escape plan seem dubious to Nick, he doesn't whether to believe in it or not.

Fear and anxiety troubled him the whole evening, and during that same night. His good times were drawing to their end that must be it. He could sense it and feared it at the same time. The jungle! Just the thought of those dense ever lasting stretches of forest, made him shudder with abhorrence. There were moments of frightful doubts, when he mistrusted Nicole completely.

What plans could she have envisaged and prepared? If her plans were based on trudging through the jungle, I'd rather stay where I’m! I'd better wait for some kind of a P.O.W exchange, by the Red Cross, or by any other organization if there is one, be it a coincidence, a miracle that would come my way; but not to trudge through the jungle again! They can't hold me forever! They'll have to let me go, release me one of those days. If Nicole does really care for me, she'll have to seek a political asylum in such a case, or whatever term one uses for such an act. There're more than enough embassies and consulates in Hanoi no doubt, where one may ask for a political asylum. Yes I'd rather wait for my official release, two or three years if I’ll need to �" instead of being chased like a hunted wild animal in that loathsome jungle. Who but Nicole would know of a coming opportunity, of an exchange, or any other chance to get away; and when that chance comes I'll refuse repatriation, and I won’t leave unless Nicole joins me. Brave romantic dreams indeed, but doesn't she expect me tomorrow, in some deserted shack in the jungle? Couldn't she listen to me just once? Why did she treat my ideas, my suggestions with such underestimation even mockery? It’s not a bad idea after all, to snatch the armored car right under their noses, and escape with it. Who would be able to stop us, once we’ll get started? They haven't got an air force, to chase us from above; over take and seize us at the end. Just some “Jerry-cans” of fuel and enough provisions, and we could have dashed down to any of our southern strongholds; or up to Saigon if we wished to, and be there in a week or so. Anyhow it’s the best mean to cross the battle zone safely.

Has she got a better plan? No, I don't believe she has, unless she isn't the kind of person I believes her to be. Could she be mixed in some intrigues, which I don't know of? Who is she then?

He suddenly set on probing his mind on a question that has never bothered him before. Does she have any ties with the South? With those “hush-hush” guys, be it the army intelligence or the mighty C.I.A? Would she work a miracle tomorrow and land a chopper in some hidden clearing, to evacuate us right in the middle of an air raid?

 © Haim Kadman 1991 �" all rights reserved.