The analysis

She exposes her claws and sharp they are.

On the third day of his renewed seclusion, about noon, she was back in his cell, in “their room”. Sitting on his bed he heard the approaching footsteps; then the key was inserted and turned noisily in the door's lock. The door opened up with the usual screeching noise of the hinges and there she was Nicole, in full blossom, in front of his incredulous open eyes.

‘Oh hello there comrade,’ she called out cheerfully, smiling ever so sweetly at him, right as the door slammed behind her back. ‘Well you do look much nicer now I dare say, with your hair and beard trimmed at last, much nicer indeed!’ She laughed again, and crossed the short space between them. Reaching him she stopped right in front of his stupefied eyes, while he was still sitting; and laughing on teasingly she sent her right hand and stroked lightly his hair. ‘Haven't you missed me you poor thing?’ She asked amused with that sweet and melodious voice of hers.        

Although lightly shocked by her patronizing airs, he surged out for her with both his arms, clutching her lithe body to his own, pushing his face against her soft and warm belly.

‘Cut it off comrade! Come on, enough with it you heard me!’ she ordered him dryly pushing away his hands. ‘Show me the work you'd to prepare during my absence, the analysis. Well, let's have it then!’ She added as she struggled herself free of his hold, and went over to the desk, sat down next to the wall where she always used to sit while being in his cell.

Reluctantly, unable to understand her motives, he rose to his feet and joined her at the desk; sitting at the opposite side, facing her. The guards were on their way upstairs, or even much farther. Thus nobody was there, to watch them through the spy-hole. He thought frustrated, with a heaving chest, his blood throbbing in his temples. But he managed to get over it somehow; it took him several seconds though.

‘There it is right at your left elbow, comrade Nicole.’ He pointed it out to her, and rising to his feet went over to her side to help her find the few sheets of paper, which were in fact right under her nose.                                                           

‘Is that all?’ She asked feigning disappointment, weighing the few sheets of paper in her delicate hands. ‘Well, don't stand at my side like a beaten dog, sit down comrade!’ She ordered him coldly.                                               

Clearing his throat loudly he went back to his chair, and sat opposite her again with a red-flushed face; watching his own outstretched hands on the desk before him.

‘What's wrong, don't you feel well?’ She asked as if she were slightly surprised. Is he still that sensitive? She wondered. A few more blows aimed at his masculine ego, and he is done for. She still doubted Nick's capabilities, the mental aspect in particular, although the optimistic assumption of the head commissar. She had her own experience to rely on. If the American is prone for a nervous breakdown, it'd rather happen right now before he would be assigned to some future hazardous mission.

‘I'm okay, there's nothing the matter with me.’ He managed to answer, bracing himself right in time. 

‘Fine, just fine,’ she said putting the papers aside. It’s a bit late it seems, midday meal would be served any moment now. We'll have I hope, clearer heads after having had our lunch, don't you think? Tell you what...’ She added skipping his answer. ‘We'll take the analysis with us, out to the yard and there we'll discuss it in detail.’         

Their lunch was brought in, a few moments after she finished her last sentence, precisely as she had predicted it.

‘Yes, it’s a good idea.’ She muttered as if she mentioned it to herself alone, as if Nick was not there at all, sitting with her at the same table. The guard who carried their tray, stepped in between them, and laid their tray load of food on the table. Their meal passed in silence, she seemed to ignore him on purpose, taking particular interest in each bowl on the tray. He himself did not feel like eating at all, he needed her attention but with the short experience he already had; he did not venture to strike any sort of conversation, before she'll give him the right opportunity. Thus he sat watching her in wonder, confused and quite undecided.

Well, in a second thought I shouldn’t expect her to fall all over me. She told me last time in the yard, that she had to play it cool, that's what she said. But she did it with such ease... What's more, she seemed to enjoy it so much, that’s what doesn’t fit in at all. She is scolding me over and over again, as if I’m some good for nothing punk. He concluded gloomily while he kept on eating.

With the meal over and the guards back in his cell, she rose to her feet swiftly, and started out. Collecting his papers, Nick hurriedly followed her out to the yard. But crossing the yard from wall to wall, strange as it seemed, she did not mention his work, and did not discuss it with him at all. He wished to god she'll give him some sign, some kind of a lead he could count on.  But she kept walking beside him looking straight forward, as if she saw nothing at all.                            

‘You don't know how lucky you are...’ She said suddenly in an angry and irritated voice. Walking on, re-crossing the empty yard. ‘…How safe you're where you're being kept... That beloved country of yours, the bastion of freedom has threatened to escalate the war, by sending heavy bombers to bomb our Capital. It wasn't declared openly yet, but it did leak out and that's what I have been told. That's what we've got to expect very soon, yes, in just a few days from now.’                          

Is she blaming me? He did not know what to think of it, nor what to say. How should he react? Should he be happy with such news, or should he at least pretend to be sad. He felt puzzled and embarrassed at the same time. It did stir quite an amount of excitement in him, which he did succeed to overcome and hide somehow, for he could not ignore the feelings he had for Nicole �" and for her people too, that’s how he really felt already.

Good god! He panicked all of a sudden. It might spoil our plans; put an end to all my hopes! He wished to God that nothing no threat should force a breach between them, and should not end up their shaky and fragile relationship, which they have already managed to share.

‘Who knows how many among us...’ She went on talking stoically. ‘…should die or suffer bad injuries, with these coming air-raids! How many among us should lose their beloved relatives, their homes, while you're quite safe and quite protected. Your room after all is a very safe shelter!’ She added mockingly. ‘While we have to pray for miracles...’                        

‘I thought it was our room!’ Nick protested heatedly, rushing to defend their unique relationship, their love affair.                            

‘Oh, our room,’  she repeated him laughing her tinkling and sweet laugh, the sun rays glittering on her parted red lips, on her white shinning teeth. ‘What a pity! I seem to be so busy lately. But things are going to improve real fast, I can promise you that. By the way, do you still remember that letter of yours? I have almost forgotten it; I mean the letter you were so anxious to send to your parents, do you still remember it? Well that letter is on its way! It was forwarded through the Swedish consulate, ten days ago.’  This rather vital piece of information she added off hand, while watching his puzzled face with an amused smile.

The letter was for Nick the last straw that almost broke his back. How could he forget it? He was simply shocked. She did not exaggerate; he did follow her in the yard like a beaten dog with its tail between its legs. ‘Thank you comrade Nicole, I'm much obliged.’ He mumbled bewildered, unable to forgive himself as he kept walking by her side.

As they were approaching the far wall, she stopped abruptly and facing Nick, she looked at him with the same amused smile of hers. He coughed and lowered his eyes to the ground, confused and undecided. ‘You said there were some possibilities, last time...’ He stammered, not able to end the sentence, not able to understand why he felt compelled to remind it to her. Was it her mocking smile? Or is it that extreme change of attitude towards me that challenged me to do it.  Or is it the fear that she might have changed her mind! As simple as all that.

‘I'm still looking for an opening comrade. Although it isn't quite the right time for it; and I don't have to tell you how delicate such a matter must be, and how complicated the whole situation is!’ Glancing at her watch she added: ‘Now then, about that piece of work of yours. Well the... What was it? Oh yes, the analysis. I want you to pass it over once more, it needs some amendments I'm afraid; and that's what I expect you to do, to correct it. So you're free to go now. Well go on! Don't stand ogling me with that dumb look of yours!’ 

‘Aren’t you coming with me?’ He asked surprised, with such a demonstration of helplessness, such an incredible and almost childish fright, that although she pitied him at that moment �" she burst out laughing wildly in his face, almost against her own will.

‘Don't go yet! When shall I see you again?’ He pleaded with despair.                                    

‘In a day or two... off you go now!’ She ordered raising her index finger, pointing to the entrance.

 

© Haim Kadman 1991 �" all rights reserved.