The confession

Chapter 9 of the thriller "An Irretrievable Step".

"An Irretrievable Step

Chapter 9

Until the waiter returned with their chosen dishes Gad introduced Dan to Seri in a few words, which did not add more information except some praise to Dan's capabilities and good nature.

Later on when the meal was almost over, it was time to get down to details.

'Well you'll start your studies in a room, a 'Heder' just like our forefathers learned in Eastern Europe.' Gad remarked with a sarcastic smile, Dan uttered a short surprised laugh; while Seri watched both of them bewildered. He was expecting to hear some serious instructions about his next steps, a training camp address and a few details at least in general terms about the training period and its fundamentals, and not that ironic remark.

'The room I'm talking about will be your base, and Dan will visit you there six days a week. Here is the address and after we'll part you'll go over there to introduce yourself to the landlady…'

'Is it a hired room in someone's apartment?' Seri wondered utterly surprised

'That's right the owner is a widow of someone that served us in the past.'

'Why can't I use my own apartment, I live there all alone with no partners?' Seri asked him starting to realize what his next step is going to be.

'Yeah we know it but your neighborhood isn't suitable, while the room that will serve you as your study base is already furnished, and ready with all the equipment you'll need for your studies.'

'When do I start studying?'

'Next Sunday morning and after your meeting with Dan and some other instructors, you'll stay there as long as you'll need, it depends on you alone.'

As Seri was getting closer to his home after he visited his 'room', and having introduced himself to the apartment’s owner, he saw a familiar car parked opposite the entrance of his apartment building. It was still early afternoon and there were plenty of free parking spaces in his street, most of the street's residents were still at work.

As he was almost beside that familiar car, the driver's door opened up and Tami got off.

'You promised to call me,' she said as she reached him.

'I'm terribly sorry Tami darling, but let's go up to my place and I'll explain everything to you.'

She clung to him in the elevator and against his will he embraced her, and he held her in his arms without a word until they reached his floor.

In his small living room he made her sit down in one of the two old armchairs, and went over to the corner cupboard.

'I'm going to pour you a few drops of liqueur you'll need it.' He said and returned to her with the two glasses. He handed her the glass with the few drops and urged her to drink it. They emptied their glasses silently without a word yet.

'Listen Tami,' he said as he sat facing her. 'On Tuesday night I've told you very proudly that I got rid of them, I was wrong.' He mumbled embarrassed and looked down at the empty glass in his hand.

'I remember still the smile that floated on that charismatic man's face their talent scout, the one that came along to the meeting when I rejected the job they offered me. I know now very well why he smiled… I was on duty on Tuesday night and my sergeant suggested to replace me on that night, claiming that the commander on duty doesn't leave his office during the entire night; but on this night when I've met you in your apartment instead of staying in the base and checking the guards' positions every two hours, the commander on duty left his office at midnight and was looking for me… It was a premeditated trap… When I returned on Wednesday morning to the base I was summoned to a meeting with the base commander, and was ordered to pack up and leave.' He made a short pause and looked in her eyes, hoping she will understand what she was going to be told.

'It was an awful humiliation, and I didn't turn to the staff administration center to ask for a new assignment; I knew that it's useless they won't give me up, and I guess that I was on their potential candidates' list for quite a long time. So it took me several hours to realize that I've no other choice but to accept their job. I'm back from a meeting with them right now, and I'll start my studies on next Sunday.'

'You don't have to stay in the army or accept their job Dudi; my father can employ you in one of his companies…'

'It won't work Tami for they'll force your father to fire me after a few months. That's why I thought that we'd better part now.' He added and lowered his head avoiding her eyes.

A sudden silence fell Seri's last words shocked her. She did not expect at all such an ending while their relationship has just started to bloom. It took her several seconds to overcome her shock.

'Why Dudi darling, why should it disrupt our relationship? You don't know if you'll succeed in your new studies.' She left her seat and went over to him to hug him.

'There's still time,' she whispered in his ear; '…and when you'll have to leave…If you'll have to leave we'll talk about it again, okay Dudi?' She went on whispering and bending over her lover she kept kissing his face.

He stood up very slowly taking pains not to detach himself from her arms, and they stood embraced in silence a few moments.

'Won't it be harder later on?' He asked her softly.

'I don't want to lose you no matter when, I'll be yours always…'

Seri kept hugging her and stroked gently her hair with one hand, while he kept kissing her lips but he did not say another word. He wondered if she had to return to the university, or has she skipped some lectures? These questions bothered him but he knew he had better keep his mouth shut. The situation that he has initiated was too precarious… She might fall into a nervous breakdown or some hysteric sobs, if he will mention once again his decision to part with her; on the other hand they will be together up to the end of his studies, till then maybe her parents will intervene and force her to stop seeing him or who knows what else could happen…?

I'll be free from duties and states of alertness to see her every night and every weekend, and that's what she wants so why should I wreck my head? I'll rather live the moment.

@ Haim Kadman 2017 �" all rights reserved.