At the police station

An excerpt of the suspense novelette The Puppet.

At the police station

"The Puppet"

An excerpt

I've avoided a questioning in Nazareth police station and now I'm supposed to be questioned here in Abu Dhabi my refuge… Baraka thought with despair as he sat on the rear seat between his two guests, on their way to the police station or its dungeons.

They took him to Abu Dhabi police general head quarters at 2^nd Street, where Baraka met in a secluded office at the end of a long corridor, a welcoming group of three plain clothes middle aged investigators that were not much older than him.

The plain clothes man that conducted Baraka's preliminary investigation at his suite joined them, and Baraka was asked to sit opposite the three investigators.

'He says her name is Linah Lasani.' The young plain clothes man said with a chuckle full of scorn.

'Oh really, she landed last week with a Jordanian passport under the name of Basma Azizi; and flew to London last night with an Egyptian passport under the name of Fatima Amun. Her hijab doesn't hide her rare and exquisite beauty…' The investigator that sat in the middle of his colleagues ended his investigation opening referring to Linah's physical advantages.

'She didn't warn you, but left you behind to ensure her safe escape, otherwise you would have flown last night before or after her…'

'But I crossed the border into Jordan to escape the Zionists' Shabac, after I returned from Damascus… They were going to accuse me with treason…'

'And where's our shafa (good looker) in the picture then, is she your relative?'

'No she isn't my relative I've met her in East Jerusalem, she came to prey in Al-Aqsa.' Baraka lied to them with much caution, doing his best not to say a thing about his complicated love affair with Linah; which might arouse their jealousy, and hatred in its wake.

'What has she found in you at your age, such a young and attractive woman?'

'I supported her…' Baraka made another effort to convince them.

'Why should a Muslim woman use three different identities? I'll tell you why…' The leading investigator raised his voice menacingly. 'Because she's a Jewess and your operator. You may be an Arab but you serve the Zionists Mossad, and you're under arrest Munir Baraka!'

'I swear I didn't know that she's a Mossad agent, I met her in London six weeks ago and she extorted me. I'd to obey her email instructions… She ordered me to participate in the Damascus convention, and a week after I returned she warned me to flee to Amman; where I met her again and she sent me without delay to your fabulous city.' Baraka kept telling all they wished to know with a shaky voice, appealing to their mercy with tears in his eyes. 'I've had lunch with her yesterday and she told me to take a cab to Al Akbar travel agency, and there she instructed me to get in touch with the authorities, and said that she'll call me today.'

'But how did she extort you, how can you a political leader let a woman and so young; order you what to do? And how come you didn't suspect her and her motives, and whom she serves?'

'I was infatuated with her and I was sure that she's a Tunisian, and how could I suspect that she's a Mossad agent when she instructed me to fly to Damascus?'

'It was supposed to be your cover story. You've supposedly escaped in time from being accused in treason, while she will operate you here against your own brothers.'

'I'm terribly sorry and so thankful to you for rescuing me from serving our enemies like an idiot…' 

'Print it,' the leading investigator ordered the young plain clothes man that keyboarded Baraka's confession.

'Sign it.' he ordered Baraka and gave him a pen.

'Well you can't return to Nazareth you're burned, and as you haven't caused any damage yet you'll have to serve us or face a firing squad…'

© Haim Kadman July 2015 " all rights reserved.

Reviews

[Andy King]

Good action and tension; the images are quite vivid.

About dialogue, you might want to study Self-Editing for Fiction Writers by Renni Browne and Dave King. It's excellent and helps a lot with attributions (said) and sentence structure.

You made it clear that this is an excerpt, so having an ending is not a necessity, but it would hurt.

All in all, it's a good slice, and you might want to post a chapter. Cheers!

[Haim Kadman]

Thanks a lot I appreciate very much your review.

[Andy King]

Sorry, when I said, "...but it would hurt," of course I meant "but it wouldn't hurt."
Enjoy your day.

[Haim Kadman]

It's alright Andy I'm glad you liked it, and thanks very much.