Desired

The eyes slide

off her and don’t trouble to rest

there. Walking awkward

and looking foolish

with a weight about

her neck that prevents her

swimming or flying

off, better than any cage.

darling baby dear tonight

we should open the champagne

because it’s a celebration I’ll

need access to your nakedness

and you shall consent

Not a stranger looks at her

or her long coat

with its large morose black buttons

each for a thousand 

glossy blank stares.

Prepped for danger in the bedroom

tonight, she

snaps the hours away as the hands on her watch jackknife later

and later.

Reviews

[Wesley D. Stein]

Wow. I've just reviewed 10 poems here, and this is my favorite! You are very talented at telling a big story with few words, the mark of a great writer. I think there are italicized lines in the middle stanza but it was hard to tell, a song within a song. That may work better with quotations rather than italics, but just a thought. I look foward to more from you!

[JRB]

nice write

[Sarah]

I think it goes without saying that this is definitely publishable material. You are very talented, and I enjoyed reading this! :)

[Lola Nation]

sadness with great depth

[Lexi Nicole]

This poem absolutely blew me away. Your diction is incredible and everything about this piece is just hauntingly beautiful. The tone of it is somehow somber, and the italics added something more sinister to it. I really felt this. Amazing work.

[Patches I'm not so new..]

This is a "what if" poem at least in my estimation the scene you portray is very vivid and real in the reader's mind

[E.H. Monroe]

The dreaded weight of self consciousness maybe? The f*****g slap of intensity and the big bulky jacket that stays on because, well, who the hell needs the aggrivation.
The idea that no one is watching anyway so whate difference does it make. Boy have I been there.
Nice capture

[wolfshrew]

I felt a beautiful sadness, I feel that way about you a lot.

[Emily B]

I see great potential