Why Me?

This is a Poem/Story of the pains and suffering a bully might cuase

Why me:

I often wonder why me?

Why did it happen to me?

What did I do?

Why me?

What made you want to do this to me?

What did I do to deserve this?

What makes you think it is right?

Why Me?

What makes me different?

Why am I different from you?

Who says I am Different?

Why me?

What do you want?

What did I do to you?

What can I change?

Why Me?

Who are you to do these things?

Why did you choose me?

Why do you do them to me?

Why me?

Why do you push me around?

Why do you call me names?

Why do you make fun of me?

Why me?

This is a series of questions that anyone who has ever been bullied, pushed around, tormented, or abused has asked themselves.  Since sixth grade I had been bullied.  I still to this day after all these years since graduation, ask myself these questions.

Bulling is a serious issue.  The actions of one or two people can ruin a person’s life.  The emotional trauma doesn't go away after you get away from the person causing the problems.   

When I was in school, I didn't want to go to school, I couldn't figure out how to fit in.  I had 4 guys who loved to torment me.  They would call me names, fart in my face, trip me, push me around, and take my stuff and anything else they could do to make me feel bad.

I didn't just get bullied at school, I was bullied everywhere I would run into these people.  If they saw me in a store they would hunt me down, follow me around, make fun of me, or anything else they felt like doing.

Many of times after school I would stay late just to keep from running into these guys outside.  Every day they would threaten to beat me up after school.  I learned to fight quickly.  It was never a fair fight; they would always come at me with 2 or more of their friends.

I started carrying things in my jacket pockets that made a good weapon.  For a while I had a fake hand grenade in my pocket.  When I would swing my jacket, it was a very effective tool.

Twenty plus years later I still feel ashamed, scared and embarrassed of myself.  I do not like to go out in public, or socialize.  When meeting people I always think they do not like me.  It may not be true, but that is how I feel.

I have not had a good relationship with anyone.  I have never been married, and probably never will be

There needs to be a better way to educate people on the trauma bulling can cause.  People do not understand that just because you bully someone today, and tomorrow you never meet that person again, doesn't mean you did not leave a lasting impression on that person.

I will never know why they choose me, but I will live with the pain for the rest of my life.

 

           The Hitman 0069                              Portland, Or.

Reviews

[Tina Kline]

Yes, I agree with you. The pain lingers on and on along with the ugly memories of what happened. I know some people who were bullied in school and they still talk about it today. Some people end up broken as you described your lingering pain. They damaged you it sounds like. A lot of people are just mean at heart and unable to feel the pain of others. They lack compassion.

[Hitman]

Thank you for the review. I have talked to alot of my classmates over the years, they all say the samething, that this guy was hateful to them to