Haunted

Haunted of a man

Haunted:

I am haunted

My past haunts me

I revisit my past in my dreams

My dreams haunt me

I am haunted

I see them in my dreams.

I hear their cries

I see them fall

I am haunted

The faces are still there

Their imagine still clear

Their life so full

I am haunted

I did what I had to do

I did what needed to be done

I gave it my all

I am haunted

I did my job

I did my best

I survived

I am Haunted

I fear the day

I fear the night

I fear my sleep

I am haunted

I live in the shadows

I live in solitude

I live in fear

I am haunted

I am haunted by guilt

I am haunted by shame

I am haunted by fear

I am haunted

The faces of the dead

The lives that I took

The memories still haunt me

I am haunted

I took their lives

I shattered their families

I took someone’s loved one

I am haunted

When I close my eyes I see their faces

When I hear a pop, is see them drop

When I smell smoke I relive those days

I am haunted

 

My second deployment to Iraq I was a sniper working in the streets of Bagdad.  I still see the faces of the people I shot.  I know that I was sent to do a job overseas, and I did it well.  I saved the lives of countless men and women.  I must have shot more than three dozen people in a short twelve month deployment.  Some were planting road side bombs; some of them were trying to ambush other Americans.  

There is a picture of a sniper floating around the internet with the caption “When asked what a sniper felt when shooting terrorist “recoil””.  That is true I felt a lot of recoil.  Now that the war is over I can honestly say I still feel the recoil, see the faces, and smell the smells.  I relive my years as a sniper every night in my dreams.  Now when I asked what I felt being a sniper, I reply “guilt”. 

I think that being able to see the expression on the person face as you shoot is worse than just putting rounds down range at a group of targets.  I will forever be haunted by the faces of the people I shot. 

 

           The Hitman 0069                              Portland Or

Reviews

[Tina Kline]

Very powerful writing. I'm glad you're able to what you experienced and are going through now in words. I can feel the pain of your words. My pain comes from a different source than yours but pain is pain. Being haunted as you are brings on a terrible struggle. I hope you win.

Your very talented with words and your ability to write and tell a story.

[Hitman]

Thank you. I appreciate the complement

[Tina Kline]

You're welcome.

[Basma Hesham]

That was good. it reflects perfectly the side of you that wishes to be very good and peaceful, and the other that 'has to do the job'.
I suggest you let go. What's done is done, and these people are in better places right now. :)