Chapter 18

    I stay sitting on the floor with a confused look on my face. After he had just said all those things to me and then turned right around and hit me. I could tell he was ashamed of either what he had just said to me or that he just hit my once again. I had to find out, I decided. 

  " What was that for! " I scream at him at first. I see him nudge backwards a little. It seemed as if he was scared of me or something. Like I was going to hit him. 

   " What are you thinking? I see that look on your face, Billy. I am not as dumb as everyone thinks I am. I know that look. What is it that you're ashamed of? Huh? " I ask in a much calmer voice then before. 

  " ... I don't know. My hand, it just flew at you. Like it was a force of habit. " He replied. Bull crap. I think to myself. I didn't believe that for one second. 

  " It was not a habit. You just started beating me last week, Billy! "

 " Yes, but I guess it's just... " He stops.

  " Just what? Tell me! " 

  " I guess it's just that... I'm so used to being hit. My father, he hits me. I guess I just picked it up from him. When I was littler, when he started to hit me, I swore to myself that I would never turn out to be like him. I failed, though. I'm exactly like him. I hate it. " He answers. In his voice, I do not hear hate or madness. I hear depression and sadness. 

  " Really? Is this why you started doing this to me? Billy, now is your chance. Now is your chance to tell me the truth. To tell me everything. Because, at this point, I don't know wether to believe you or trust you. "

  " Well, it all started when I was about 7- " I sit there and listen to him go on and on about his whole like history. I sit there and think to myself. Is all this he tells me true or a lie? 

   Near the end of his story came. When it finally ended I just sat there looking at him in astonishment. 

 " - and now I'm here. " He finishes. Billy looks down at me. Still standing by the window. He walks over to me. I sit there in silence. Not knowing what to say.

 " Billy - " I start to say.

  " No. It's alright. You don't have to believe me. I wouldn't believe me either. I just want to say, I do love you. It wasn't a lie when I told you that from the very beggining. Everything I just told you, about my life. It was true. I know how it feels. " He explains.

 As he says this to me, my mouth drops. All those times I yelled at him telling him that he didn't even know how much pain he was putting me through, all those times, he did know. He knew exactly how it felt. Everything.