Hemorrhage

Pack away your barren words

Pregnant with implications

These frostbitten glass blossoms

Shatter underneath my feet

Take away your iodine and bandages

I desire to bleed

Reviews

[John]

The scenario suggested to me is of a lover trying to make amends with what the poet Philip Larkin called 'wasteful weak propitiatory flowers', but regardless this is a powerful statement of rejection and an assertion that suffering is the only suitable response to the pain caused.

My own preference for a short line would suggest the following line breaks. I think it brings emphasis e.g 'Pack away your barren words'...and then the sarcastic afterthought 'pregnant with implication'. Forgive the impertinence!

Pack away your barren words
Ppregnant with implications
These frostbitten glass blossoms
Shatter underneath my feet
Take away your iodine and bandages,
I desire to bleed.

[A.A.Romanczuk]

Thank you, actually, I couldn't figure out what felt wrong about the poem. I shall take your suggestion, sir!