Morning Haze

My eyes opened slowly as i woke from my sleep. The night before i closed the blinds, but the bright sun found a way through. It shot warm beams of light on to my tiresome eyes. I gave up on sleep and got out of bed. I grabbed my blanket, went down stairs and walked out the front door. The ground was cold under the soles of my feet. A butterfly flew gracefully past my face. I followed it with my eyes. It seemed to kiss the air as it flutterd out of sight. I stepped off the stone path and my feet felt the cool glistening grass that swayed with the wind. The birds sang a sweet tune. The woodpecker pecked away trying to make a home in an old maple tree. I climbed onto a tree and sat on one of its kind branches. A lady bug crawled onto my motionless finger. It seemed to rest a moment before spreading its wings and flew away. I look to the sky, saw all the tree's intertwined branches and decided to climb some more. I climbed as high as i could to the top of the tree. The sky so blue and the clouds so white, I guess that brings a whole new meaning to "head in the clouds".

Reviews

[OceanTropic]

I understand the image you are trying to portray, but I feel you wrote it too fast. It doesn't mean that you wrote it quickly, I mean that when I read it, everything happens so fast. I had trouble visualizing everything that was going on.

I did enjoy the "outdoorsiness". I could picture the greens and the blues of the grass and the skies. Since it's written in a huge chunk, I think it would be easier to read if you formatted it a bit different (either in style or font). I think it would be better on the eyes.

I think adding detail would really give it more depth. Some things, for example "The birds sang a sweet tune", seemed a bit out of place. It fits the environment and the circumstances, yes. But it seems so random. You went from wet grass, to singing birds, to a woodpecker then you're up in a tree, and I could read this all in one breath.

Like I said, it seems too fast. You do have a lot of potential though. I also enjoyed the message you conveyed, I especially like the ending, "...whole new meaning to 'head in the clouds'". I thought this was a great ending.

Keep writing :) Hope this helps!

[Michael of Gilead]

I would need coffe before climbing any tree..lol

[Lost in Wonderland]

the description in the story is incredible, i can honestly say i have a strange urge to go climb a tree this morning:)

[Emily Weaver]

I love this! It is so descriptive! My favorite was the last sentence because it just makes you think. Love it! Great job! (:

[EdwardBlue]

I can relate to this.

[kaylynnmelody♥]

wow.. this was very, very descriptive. it was awesome. i loved this. you're such a talented writers. i cant wait to read more of your writing.

[Fazen]

I loved this. reminds me of similar experiences in my life. mostly from when i was younger. I think ill go for a walk and climb a tree today. thank you.

[13ReasonsWhy]

Wow! Very descrptive and full of feeling! Loved it!

[Vertigoingnowhere]

lol thanks so much but uh...kisses?