La La Love

I'm sorry for slamming the door so hard.

The noise was very loud and surely it frightened you.

I am tired and I've had enough.

Enough of your games. Enough of your broken promises.

When the room collapsed, you escaped but left me in the rubble.

I cracked and crumbled and fought for nothing.

I had my hands tied behind my back, in the middle of the war, left without defenses.

As the bullets flew and the swords did skewer.

My mind and heart got separated in the crowd.

My heart screamed and yelled for you, while my mind fought to keep my body alive.

My heart was eventually ripped from your arms.

You found another, with ease and without effort.

When something breaks we try to fix it.

But when we give up, we try to replace it

But I am, nor is any person a cellular phone, a music player, a glass figurine or a piece of furniture.

So in you go little one, our pictures, our memories and all your misery, goes in with the rest of them.

The rest of the people that have left scars upon my blood pumping organ.

Into the dusty, old box of forgotten faces and mistaken intentions.

Full of bloodstained minds and bewitched bodies.

It’s funny how a little four lettered word could be so dangerous.

These pretty little dangers that we call love.

 

Reviews

[Captain]

"When something breaks, we try to fix it; but when we give up, we try to replace it." This is hands down my favorite line of this poem. Very nice work. I like how throughout the piece there is a consistency of of the 'teller' being conflicted. Really nice read, HSA.

[Vertigoingnowhere]

Thanks so much :)
HSA

[sithlordjp]

Reading that title, I expected something playful, lite. You took me by surprised with what follow! I like being surprised like that, a variation on the old magician slide of hands! Lets the reader look again, seek deeper in your words. powerful hearfelt emotions, well done!

[Livana Lowell]

Dear HighSchoolAdventurer,

I am not sure I like the title after reading such a deep filled piece. It sounds so flippant compared to the poem itself. I absolutely adore the first line, "I'm sorry for slamming the door so hard," because it describes to me you are closing the door, walking away from a situation, and the following lines makes me envision you screaming out your feelings at the door, unleashing everything you felt.

I liked the blunt line, "I am tired and I've had enough." It is strong without the use of diction and imagery because we understand and empathize feeling fed up.

The rest just reminds me of my experience of being left alone by a certain friend to be "in the rubble." The ache of the desire to just survive emotionally especially being in a warfare.

My favorite lines are the last two, "It's funny how a little four lettered word could be so dangerous/These pretty little dangers that we call love." I found a sense of parallelism and just thought it was a nice fit.

Awesome read. Thanks for sharing.

Sincerely Livana Lowell (LL)

God bless

[AJ Kristiansen]

I like your work HSA... a lot of imagery here about love and loss and the disconnection that comes when our hearts do feel 'torn out'.... Love the line 'bloodstained minds and bewiched bodies' for we do feel bewitched without those we love.. great work, keep it coming!!

[Writer *78*]

Broken heart..ends of a relationship is very well conveyed here and I envy you for that. It is a very deep and emotional piece. Well done.

-Tips hat off to her-

-Writer *78*

[Coyote Poetry]

I enjoyed how you described love and the battle to hold our sanity. I like the way you described each situation in the poem. Sometime better to walk away and try to forget. I like the title to the excellent poem. Thank you.
Coyote

[quinfinn]

there are quite a few dangerous four letter words, but love is indeed a treaherous one. i am not sure how you meant the line starting with "but i am" , but i have a suspicion that you omitted the word "not"...if this is so, then i feel compelled to tell you. i love this write, it is an accurate account of things which have passed in my own experience and well written....i love the imagery you employ

[Calibaster]

That was a very good painting you depicted there! Keep up the good work!:)