Locket of Her 3

THE FINAL RELEASE *part 3 of the trilogy*

 

The Release

Dark Goddess watched as her child cried. Fate was putting on quite the performance. She knew better than to intervene. It was a pleasurable moment for her. To see something so innocent get torn apart so provocatively. The sun burned...oh how it burned this lovely creature during the heat of mid-day. This Goddess of a witch, she was satisfied to see the innocent girl suffer to grievously.

Day by day...the air thickened around the glen, permeating the sky above the tree of travesty. Vultures perched and ready, they could smell her suffering.

Time wept as her shadow grew shorter. Eventually; her shadow parted ways as the days grew tired. Evening came to calm and cool her flesh. She looked like a wounded floret...stems bruised...petals plucked. The sandman's affection, was the only love she had to surrender to. It was during this time she found relief. In her dreams she became detached from her mortal self; yielding to sleep-induced purgatory.

Another night like so many others.

But no.....not this night. This night she would have to fight.

Future misery was mapped out by the stars in the dark twilight. Perdition was paving the way for another moment of reckoning. The mossy ground turned brown. The tree was losing it's leaves. Her blood was turning thick and barely luke warm. Her pink lips now a bluish hue. She knew she was dying....

And it was a wolf, that lusted after her warmth that night. She was still alive. So very frail, but her flesh remained. With a meal in mind, it was his to gain. With a predatory step, he crept closer, sniffing around on her skin. Never before had he smelled a creature so sweet. Certainly she'd be good enough to eat. He gave a hungry lick against her delicate sternum. She felt his warm tongue, creating both a thrill and sense of wonderment. It awakened her with a jolt. She shot up, bringing her face to face with the beastly devil himself!

The wolf just grinned.  "My my pretty one, did you enjoy that?"

Too scared for words, hands now covering her chest. Using blind instinct to protect the only essence she had left to keep her alive.
The sly beast ignored her fear. Instead he saw it as an invitation, to seduce her with his bite. First using his canine teeth to part her fingers away. One digit at a time, he was careful to not pierce the skin, knowing that he must be a gentleman at first to inspire trust. After trust...he would then find a way to fill his empty stomach. 

She was sedated by the warm breath on her hands..the wet licks that circumferenced her body. All of this, quickly replaced her anxiety with a gross captivation. She barely noticed the first plunge, as his canines tore deep inside her chest. His teeth clenched tightly around her breast bone. For a brief moment she almost knew peace. And for the first time, she felt what it was like to become one with another. Her heart beating wildly inside his mouth. The release! The sweet release!

The wolf dog looked up to see her eyes closing, biting down harder, it caused the left atrium of her heart to burst. The ghost of her could not escape the cardiac arrest. A vacant vessel laid before him. Her spirit set loose, what was once damned, became resurrected and purged.

Piece by piece, and rib by rib. He devoured her, careful he was to not leave a mess. Even the vultures flew away, they were tired of waiting, and weak from fasting. Nothing left. Nothing accept a tree, the carcass of a man with a branch in his socket. And Dark Goddess remained...waiting for the floods to unearth.....

 

                                   The locket.

Author's Note

Yes...the trilogy is over.

Reviews

[VennelaMargame]

"The release! The sweet release!"

Yes, death can be orgasmic, can't it? When I saw the subtitle "final release," that was the first place my mind went.

In a way, and this is probably completely off-target, it reminds of the song "Her Ghost in the Fog," just because of the beauty destroyed by jealousy, the lover driven to destruction, although it's a tenuous connection.

Also, I love how obviously turned on the wolf is. Very vorarephilic.

Nice story, I've enjoyed reading it.

[Muse]

Kind of romeo and juliet, they are finally together. lol

[VennelaMargame]

I feel like my girlfriend would love this story somehow...maybe just because she calls me "Wolfie."

[Muse]

Have her read it. I need some non-biased feed back. I might branch off this story some day and publish it.

[VennelaMargame]

I will direct her towards it, when she's about the internet.

[Virtual Entity]

Would be interested in the first two parts.

This is dark and terrifying--especially for me, a vegetarian who writes stories about vampire goddesses.... The story raises questions one prefers not to even think about (at least this one!). I could go on, but I see in another review you asked for unbiased criticism...

There really isn't much to criticize here. I noted one clear word-choice error in the last paragraph: "Nothing accept a tree..." where "except" should be used, and question the use of "circumferenced" in the third-to-last paragraph. I think "circumnavigated" might be a better choice, since it is, at least, a legitimate verb, and conveys the idea of moving completely around something. While there is nothing technically wrong with "vacant vessel", I find the consonance slightly disturbing--but that could be a good thing!

From a logistical point of view, I wonder that a wolf or any other creature would be able to eat the woman int he way described. From what I know of predators, I suspect the wolf (if that is what this remarkably courteous and tidy demon actually was) would have bitten open the girl's stomach and then proceeded to ingest her stomach and intestines and (especially) the blood-rich liver before going after less accessible parts such as the heart and lungs. The chewing and breaking of bones would probably not take place until all the accessible soft tissue had already been eaten. Also, if a wolf (or any other creature) were able to get its jaws around a beating heart, it would probably have to do so without first breaking the breastbone, as the shock and trauma of breaking through that would almost certainly cause heart-failure in the victim. I also question whether a wolf would be able to see the face of his victim (especially an adult woman) if he had his mouth and teeth buried in her chest (to eat her heart).

Of course, I am being very "critical" here, but I figure that it's worth it. Don't rewrite your work just because of the technical implausibility of what I have described. Yours may well be a demon wolf of very large proportions who enjoys politely moving fingers out of the way so he can bite through the breastbone while watching his victim's face as he does so. Just do be aware that, from a purely clinical point of view, the devouring scene is someone jarring in ways that I do not believe you intended and, consequently, it broke 'the suspension of disbelief', as I found myself asking "is this really possible? Would a would really eat like that?" rather than focusing on the images (terrifying though they are) that your writing is clearly intended to evoke.

In any event, I should like very much to have a look at Parts 1 and 2, and any subsequent effort on this work. I think you've really got something here. Something truly gothic and ominous...

As an experiment, I think I may post Chapter 1 of Book 2 of the Kesh trilogy, which is similar to your work in its dark, hellish horror (though, sadly, not so compellingly terrifying as yours, I think). Forgive me as I am quite new at Writer's Cafe and haven't figured out all the ins, outs and rules yet.

I should be interested if, at some point, you wished to collaborate on something...

[David Scott]

Oh my dear...
Even the goddess is sad...
I have read tis before but did not leave a review...
This is so sad and it tells of a final and second death. You left eternity empty fir te lovers...
Brilliant writing!

[Muse]

my first shot at flash fiction...which turned into a trilogy. For now..I stick with poetry. :D

[David Scott]

I think you can do well with whatever you choose to write. I am a fan!

[Stacey Watts]

Wow just Wow! I love this but I wonder is this story really over. I would like to see more. Okay you did a wonderful job on this trilogy. I can't wait to read more from you my friend.

[Chris]

Full cycle...

[Muse]

Not quite yet...it has recently been suggested that I elaborate on her birthing experience. Symbolising my own metamorphisis...It is incomplete.

[Chris]

Chuckling here...is ever a woman's perogative...

[Larry Dyson]

try what i suggested and reverse the first and the second paragraphs here.. then rereadit?..please...is this what you feel?

[Muse]

you are definately on to something...I knew it was off the mark..but did not realize what it was lacking until you pointed it out. Another chapter will happen. And a rewrite on the ending. :)

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Oops spelling mistake I think? 'accept a tree' should be 'except a tree'?

But what a deep and sensual tale!

[Jeffrey]

Absolutely beautiful! I especially love how the wolf was able to maintain his compsure to inspire her trust before devouring her so completely that there wasn't even a morsel for the vultures to pick.

Excellent write! Brilliant Trilogy!!

[Liana]

This strong imagery has inspired me. Thanks Muse

[MoriartyMesa]

The smell of blood if not lust and every other thing came to mind while reading this. But than I bet that was the plan, Dark Goddess indeed.