The Last Waltz

Dance with the macabre.......

 

 

The Last Waltz

 

Seduced I am by the face of vanity and disfigurement, my

jaw shattered from the {BONDAGE}

of our osculation, my

mouth leeched by sharpened tongue exhausted in salutation.

You play my ribs as if I were the

=strings= on your cello,

but these bones crumble as you strum

higher and higher, my

voice and screams you use to orchestrate Death's choir. 

 

Our diaphragms making love in perverse disagreement, I

ask thee to have mercy on my soul that begs to breathe.

I know your cadaverous mind can see

and hear me, but

instead, you stifle my vitality, ignoring each and every plea.  

 

What provokes you to graze in my dismantled flesh?

Is it the promenade between my stomach and breast, or

do you crave the vigor that hides within 

my open chest?

I waltz with you in servitude and as a willing sacrifice, you

take the lead with every step, twitch,

and pulsating beat.

Catching me as I sway, arching my back, and vertebrae,

bleeding jewel-like rubies, adorning my fears from yesterday.

 

Sweeping me around the tempest void that shadows song.

You devour what is left; I feel no pain......

I feel no wrong.

Author's Note

Artist.......Michael Hussar

Reviews

[J.V. Stanley]

Hauntingly seductive, the words play well upon my ear as I read it aloud. Feels like love torn apart and the empty shells, skeletons remain playing to each other still with the devouring love and that power that holds upon the woman. It seems as though the male figure has a sort of power over the female counterpart within this piece and how weak and vulnerable she is to the seductive techniques used by the male figure.

Our diaphragms making love in perverse disagreement, I
ask thee to have mercy on my soul that begs to breathe.

These lines cause me to imagine an argument between two lovers who constantly seem to quarrel and no matter how much the female in this piece begs for reprieve, none is given ultimately ending with-

You devour what is left; I feel no pain......
I feel no wrong.

in essence succumbing to the fact that he had won, yet inside is strongly convinced of her rightness but no longer willing to argue about it. At least this is how I interpreted the poem. Ultimately its an amazing piece of work, quite amazing in its structure. I have a fascination with dark poetry such as this. Definitely going into my favorites. I had to reread it about five times and enjoyed it more and more with each read :)

[Shalini Dinesh]

When I saw the title I thought it will be something bright love romance, but the pic said its something diff, yeah dark romamce, I liked the usage of metaphors like ribs like strings, bleed like jewel rubies... Overall it was like watching a scary dance....

[Crow]

The waltz itself has such intensity as a unification between the two willing participants, as does this piece...as is a dance of love and beauty, this piece shares the same aspects though is a darkened style.

Excellent piece!

[SkinlessFrank]

Okay. I’ve often wondered what plane of existence we “go” to when we make love. It certainly is not the here and now. Your words capture that otherness that happens to us in those moments as best as words can. I once had a lover who would tell me how she would switch her brain over to “reptile” in those moments. Your mixing of lovemaking with deathmaking reminds me of how the praying mantis eats off the head of her mate.

“"Placing them in the same jar, the male, in alarm, endeavoured to escape. In a few minutes the female succeeded in grasping him. She first bit off his front tarsus, and consumed the tibia and femur. Next she gnawed out his left eye...it seems to be only by accident that a male ever escapes alive from the embraces of his partner" Leland Ossian Howard, Science, 1886. (7)

[Shy Girl]

This one sounds more like seduction in its rare form. Waltz is a seductive dance when moved correctly. I love how you wove death and beauty so fluidly. I can feel these words as I read them. Just want to read it over and over. I really can't say much more, because this poem, to me, no opinion or word or anything can decribe what I felt reading this piece. You have a beautiful mind and Muse fits you best, for sure. Stunning piece: I am speechless. I wonder how you would describe the tango? :) Just a thought. :)

O.o very intriging format I must say... indeed random, but I like ^_^
I think the format of your poetry is your mark of artistic detail I think.
Whatever it is, I love how it's always changing and always gives me a sense of like the poetry is artwork, flowing with excellence.
Personally, I think J.V. Stanley left little room to review this, lol, thnx mate. *jab*
But it has such good reviews for a reason, and that reason has no words which can equate to its presence in this world.

Most of your poetry is not only exotic in form but it also mainly deals with seductive erotic themes in metaphorical form (least the ones I've read so for).
If there's any thing to be constructive on is the repetition and recurrence of themes. Other than that, criticizing your poetry is like trying to shoot fish in an empty bucket (hint: pointless) lol. It just goes to show you how talented you are at your craft, but for a painter to paint many portraits of the same picture, well, basically what my constructive response intends to say is just be open to become more diverse. Haven't had the time to go throughly through your collection yet, So I may be proven wrong with my constructive statement, but it's still something to keep in mind to keep from being known as a writer who does the same thing most of the time.
Overall, 100/100, it is truely indeed wonderful work. It very well much so deserves the praise of a perfect rating.

[Kyle]

This is wild! I love the text changes.....i love the intensity....too many writers here are really dull.

There is some serious crap going on in this one! lol

[EMF]

As radical, obsessive, D&S, S&M, B&D, canabalistic love poetry goes....this is brilliant. You've written down an intensity of feeling that lifts this way beyond most writers. Such wordplay and imagry. Not many could make me feel hungry and horny with thier writing. Or is that a little too direct for anyone else reading this. Exceptional work, as ever

[Seshat Nidaba]

This was a great read, captivating and realistic, truly very artistic! There were a number of points where I paused, and it takes a lot to make me pause.

[registeredisaster]

Shocking by its own right. An enjoyable piece about the darker side of life.

[Dahlia Phoenix]

From everything I've ever read since I joined writerscafe, I would totally give you a cookie for this write! I am at a loss for words on what to say. The feel of this poem is like music, symphonic music being played like a tragedy. It haunts me for each word speaks for itself.

"Our diaphragms making love in perverse disagreement, I
ask thee to have mercy on my soul that begs to breathe."

Deeply compelling and the imagery makes me feel like I'm there.