The Last Waltz

Dance with the macabre.......

 

 

The Last Waltz

 

Seduced I am by the face of vanity and disfigurement, my

jaw shattered from the {BONDAGE}

of our osculation, my

mouth leeched by sharpened tongue exhausted in salutation.

You play my ribs as if I were the

=strings= on your cello,

but these bones crumble as you strum

higher and higher, my

voice and screams you use to orchestrate Death's choir. 

 

Our diaphragms making love in perverse disagreement, I

ask thee to have mercy on my soul that begs to breathe.

I know your cadaverous mind can see

and hear me, but

instead, you stifle my vitality, ignoring each and every plea.  

 

What provokes you to graze in my dismantled flesh?

Is it the promenade between my stomach and breast, or

do you crave the vigor that hides within 

my open chest?

I waltz with you in servitude and as a willing sacrifice, you

take the lead with every step, twitch,

and pulsating beat.

Catching me as I sway, arching my back, and vertebrae,

bleeding jewel-like rubies, adorning my fears from yesterday.

 

Sweeping me around the tempest void that shadows song.

You devour what is left; I feel no pain......

I feel no wrong.

Author's Note

Artist.......Michael Hussar

Reviews

[J.V. Stanley]

Hauntingly seductive, the words play well upon my ear as I read it aloud. Feels like love torn apart and the empty shells, skeletons remain playing to each other still with the devouring love and that power that holds upon the woman. It seems as though the male figure has a sort of power over the female counterpart within this piece and how weak and vulnerable she is to the seductive techniques used by the male figure.

Our diaphragms making love in perverse disagreement, I
ask thee to have mercy on my soul that begs to breathe.

These lines cause me to imagine an argument between two lovers who constantly seem to quarrel and no matter how much the female in this piece begs for reprieve, none is given ultimately ending with-

You devour what is left; I feel no pain......
I feel no wrong.

in essence succumbing to the fact that he had won, yet inside is strongly convinced of her rightness but no longer willing to argue about it. At least this is how I interpreted the poem. Ultimately its an amazing piece of work, quite amazing in its structure. I have a fascination with dark poetry such as this. Definitely going into my favorites. I had to reread it about five times and enjoyed it more and more with each read :)

[Liam]

After all that I'd only hope you'd feel no wrong. Excellent write Muse.

[Dayran]

An imprisonment in the life and thoughts of a man, cultivating a life for him slavishly, with no joy or pleasure for the female half. There are places that might call that a ' wife.' Reminds me of the children's rhyme where Old mother Hubbard wanted to get her dog a bone but the cupboard was bare. A great retelling of an older tale.

[Chris]

My sense of this depiction is "Marital 'bliss' - as lived, experienced, and seen by the silent partner... he or she with no say in their Twilight Zone of subsistence."

Chris

[R J Askew]

Great stuff.
I can't pick any holes in it.
The string of extraordinary and lurid visions is very strong and pulls the eye along. There are no hitches, no breaks in the intensity of the execution from start to end.
The sense of absolute consumation by forces beyond us is total. Maybe the life force is the monster you destribe. It will have its way with us all and it is remorseless. We all instinctively crave it. Yet it devours us.
The sheer physicality of your piece captures how the reality of life is. When you think about it we are basic, phycial, ruthless when the life force drives us and we lose ourselves to it.
I enjoyed the little visual empheses, esp higher/higher/choir. Also very much like '...the vigour that hides...' and '...bleeding jewel like rubies...'
On the face of it the dance is a horror, but there is a voluptuousness and surrenver to it that makes it also sensuously alluring about the willing sacrifice being swept around.
But it is the uniqueness of the wording that catches the eye with phrases like '...to graaze in my dismantled flesh...' making the read extraordinary.

[Moflo]

I think the formatting is excellent! Also your descriptions are amazing, I couldn't stop reading once I started, very vivid imagery. Amazing job, Muse, easily a favorite for me. Very very nicely done!

[roarke]

"Fleshing it out?"
Well you've proved that picture is worth a thousand words. Great words. the formatting was fine, it added to the rhythm and flow of the piece. So many people here use "words" thumbed from the depth of the thesaurus and displayed flagrantly upon the page.... your words dance together, Waltz if you will, in harmony and succinct meaning. Well done. Entertaining.

[Dream Weaver]

Now this is poetic art that resonates from within!
Nice work Muse...

[Thea]

Wow...Great picture..
"Sweeping me around the tempest void that shadows song.
You devour what is left; I feel no pain......
I feel no wrong."
Spectacular poem...Filled with excellent imagery... :)))

[Larry Dyson]

curious as to what formatting you were going to use?..it looks good to Me and reads deeply into the relationship...