Black Widow

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

      

  

 

 

 Masculine hands, with muscular limbs

 

                        tongue tied and beautifully hung, you  

 

                            fell victim to my selfish bliss, finally

 

                   trapped by my love that was woven and spun, I

 

         caught you within my web of silkened sheets

 

              held in bondage to be my dessert, your

 

                         martyred lips are mine alone to unravel, I'll

 

                         kiss it all better, never mind it might hurt

 

                                each gasp for breath shows your unrest

                    

                sorry my love for the tangled up mess

 

                            your chest cocooned within my embrace, its

 

                              pointless to fight the blackwidows fate, 

 

                    I'll eat you up slow.....

 

                  starting first, with your sweet decadent face.

 

Reviews

[EMF]

I have nothing against a little B&D. Even a little S&M. Willing to explore many other letters too, but this takes it to such a wonderfully new level... Oh. Yes. Sorry, I'm back and not behaving any more. You have created here a true lure, that keeps mine eye's returning again and again. Partly because of the sheer quality of it. The texture of the language has a silken sensuality and sexuality of it that holds you. And frankly, I'm turned on something rotten by it. As I said befoer..... way down to the marrow

[Dani]

Hiya.

I'm going to be honest, at first glance I kind of cringed at the colored text and the spacing of the lines. Generally it's all supposed to enhance the poet's delivery/reader's experience of the piece, which is pretty much the main point of figurative language and diction, so it all just seems kind of redundant. I don't know. That's just my opinion-- obviously you don't need to agree.

Pet peeves aside, here's the difference between your poem and all of the other poems I've seen with modified text: other poems are so bland that taking out the color and frill would literally destroy them; however, I was pleasantly surprised at how fluent and thoughtfully crafted this piece was. It could easily stand on its own, and the reader would be able to illustrate the picture and all of the colors in his/her mind without you even bringing them up-- that, in my book, is good writing. This poem reads off as a whisper, each word rolling into the next and right off the tongue. I especially liked that slight, subtle rhyme that pops up every two/three lines or so. That honestly made the entire poem for me, along with your good use of enjambments. I get so caught up in correcting line breakage and flow that I literally do a double-take when I notice it's done well.

Overall, very nice write. I enjoyed it.

[Ladysue]

This is biting, lilting and very engaging...so well done!

[Nishant Gupta]

nice one read mine too "QUEST OF LIFE"

[An owl on the moon]

Each line, each discordant font, all leads to the dark depth that hides in the most beautiful face... Should be a stark, stunning warning for half the population. You paint a shadowed mystery with scarlet lips!

[Pablo]

The way you "embraced" me with this poem, my "chest cocooned" with each word drawing me closer into the poem ... Mmm! Mmm! How yummy, the "sweet decadent" drawing you do of love and its intricate web.

I'll echo the other comments commending you on a very well done poem, and 'Orlando' who said, " The beauty of the execution -- both poetic and sensual -- succeeds in making the menace seem like the sweeeeetest of poisons."

I'm caught!

[Mark]

In south Louisiana, there's a little insect called the "love bug", as no one ever sees them until after mating, after which they "fly united", the female determining the course, and the male, attached by the (ahem!), just along for the ride, gradually being resorbed into her body for the nourishment of the eggs. You, Beth, would be the first human female who's ever publicly owned the truth of the man/woman relationship, though many of us have suspected it, long and wearily. If you haven't already, please examine my "Bee Movie" and "Bicerebrate" for other takes on the same theme.

[joshua deathdealer]

This is an awesome!! I love the story here and how real it feels.." tongue tied and beautifully hung"...Excellent work...xx

[Winslow Des Totes]

This is very cool! I love the imagery. Also how the weight of each word seems heavy and when it lands, its like a bowling ball on marble! Very very cool write!!!!

[SpokenWord]

Muse this is really good I had to save it as a fav. It reminds me of relationships more than a black widow. I see your creative flare in this from the teasing words to the fancy fonts and little sprinkles of red to make it also visually pleasing as much as it was mentally divine! Superb and bravo love it

[Jeremy Baker]

Some spiders eat their mate after mating - this poem reminded me of that, although I'm not sure why. This poem had a far more tender feel to it than that! Great write!