The beginning reminded me a little of the song "No Surprises" by Radiohead. "Such a pretty house / and such a pretty garden....I'll take the quite life / a handshake of carbon monoxide..."
If you've ever heard the song, you know the sort of heady, balloony feel that the diminished sixth and seventh tones give it. Sort of like what happens when you inhale the vapors of gasoline.
P!nk also had a song about wanting to "burn this f****r down," if I recall, because it was full of bad memories. It was called "Funhouse."
I once wrote a short story called "My Name is High Hopes," written from the perspective of the famous Amityville murder house, in which the house explained that it IS cursed, because it's forced to watch its humans screw up their lives and make each other miserable, and then get blamed for it because it is a big, dumb, defenseless object, and cannot speak up for itself.
Another one heard from the deepest places within. You hit that note in me which resonates with the note in you. (sigh)
Posted 12 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
12 Years Ago
sorry Shelly..I'm sure you know how it feels to see the plaster coming down. :(
12 Years Ago
Yes but sometimes... One must just break down and replace that son of a
bi]€!. Viola. No .. read moreYes but sometimes... One must just break down and replace that son of a
bi]€!. Viola. No more leaking roof.
12 Years Ago
I can hire a sexy contractor?????
12 Years Ago
Nice. Make sure he works both mid west and west coast. And he has one of those cool leather tool bel.. read moreNice. Make sure he works both mid west and west coast. And he has one of those cool leather tool belts. No shirt. Oh! And if he is mute... Even better.
From Osmosis, to this wow ,Pit bull on crack,you just throw the reins away let your horses run...
Posted 12 Years Ago
Muse, love... I felt this as a write with your invisible telekinesis, not even gasoline is needed. You woman, are powerful. Only with one tip of the quill that house will burn... ;) Love the ending though, it's amazing, how reality can burn the perfect civil mistaken vision, of those freaky neighbours. And all freaky persons, who don't understand s**t. Always be the different, I like you that way.
There's a song by Jann Arden called "Gasoline". I absolutely love it. Your poem puts me in much mind of what's happened and is happening in my life as of late.
I know such poetry for me is from a place of hard experience and much pain. If that be the case with you, I so feel you. Thanks, and take care.
Beautifully written. Wonderfully capturing from beginning to completion of the new start required.
Posted 12 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
12 Years Ago
Sometimes...we all need a clean slate to work with.
12 Years Ago
yes we do. and if fate is listening, i'd like mine to be in the bahamas please :-)
12 Years Ago
sounds brilliant...toes in the sand...ocean breeze..Calgon take me away. :)))
12 Years Ago
And no more rain :-)
Been raining for days here :-(
Just wondering if I should swim or c.. read moreAnd no more rain :-)
Been raining for days here :-(
Just wondering if I should swim or canoe to work today :-)
12 Years Ago
well we are in an official eight week drought...so start paddling my way...and bring a boat full of .. read morewell we are in an official eight week drought...so start paddling my way...and bring a boat full of that precious rain water. lol
:-)
* weeks???Ive never seen 8 weeks without rain. sending a rain dance your way :-)
12 Years Ago
we had maybe five seconds of rain two days ago...it evaporated immediately upon hitting the ground. .. read morewe had maybe five seconds of rain two days ago...it evaporated immediately upon hitting the ground. We have not had to mow for three weeks straight. So dance!
12 Years Ago
:-)
dancing...and if that doesnt work, we'll just swap homes :-)
I've been working on a similar scene in poetry for months. You really nail it here. I love how you use the format to convey different directions. Well done. xo
Posted 12 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
12 Years Ago
I may have nailed it...but your version will and would be just as powerful and unique. If and when .. read moreI may have nailed it...but your version will and would be just as powerful and unique. If and when you write it...be sure to give me a heads-up, I'd love to be the first to read it. xx