Just an aftertaste....................

You stopped me at the first hello, an

 

older and charming handsome fellow

 

we quickly went from friends to lovers

 

I began to slaver for something more

 

I wanted to extinguish you, tasting

 

your salty skin, igniting a craving within

 

I need more to satisfy this palate, your

 

smell of blood sweet like punch, so I

 

pursue my first innocent lick and bite

 

only to get you stuck between my teeth

 

breaking fingers and splintering bones

 

I try to savor your affection in my mouth, but

 

what was once a confection has turned bitter

 

instead I had to swallow you down whole

 

bloated now from the weight of your soul.

Author's Note

Reviews

[MoriartyMesa]

Well slap my a*s call me Charlie and tell me to see Wonka bars. The start gave me the impression the end would not be as harsh. But I loved it, the entire flow could have been someone's thoughts when lying in bed and having the ever important moment of clarity.

[Audrey Howitt]

I came to read this again--it is a fabulous write--and it stays that way in the aftertaste (pun intended??)

[Dean]

Some of the most effective use of metaphor that I have encountered. Compelling little write, indeed!

[Muse]

thank you

[lee von cleef]

and the top was so cute,then you rocked it poking a hole in the side of a bloated cow,
can I give 100 today ,? , Sure !

[Freedom's Child]

Wow, that was really mind bending and great! The imagery was so intense. The image in my head when I read "breaking fingers and splintering bones" was not pretty. "bloated now from the weight of your soul" is terrific. It worries me that I even laughed at the end of this one while feeling that deep hatred. AWESOME write!!!

[Ian H Morrison]

omg this is brilliant love it

[.]

I love the vivid imagery in this poem. Your words and metaphors excited my sense when I read this, to the point that I was there. Great job.

[Muse]

Lol...it was not my intention to excite the senses...the taste of blood...splintering bones...I wanted the reader to cringe..like hearing nails on a chalk board.

[.]

Im just weird lol. I like it though lol

[Distant horizons]

Wonderful words

[Crazy Cat Man]

yup very quickly we can hate our lovers lol great piece in showing first affection then disdain

[F.P. Chat]

Wow... I like it a lot...very interesting choice of words
smell of blood sweet like punch
savor your affection in my mouth
Really really liked it!

[The Analog Kid]

A cool way to show a growing distaste for a once loved flavor...