Just an aftertaste....................

You stopped me at the first hello, an

 

older and charming handsome fellow

 

we quickly went from friends to lovers

 

I began to slaver for something more

 

I wanted to extinguish you, tasting

 

your salty skin, igniting a craving within

 

I need more to satisfy this palate, your

 

smell of blood sweet like punch, so I

 

pursue my first innocent lick and bite

 

only to get you stuck between my teeth

 

breaking fingers and splintering bones

 

I try to savor your affection in my mouth, but

 

what was once a confection has turned bitter

 

instead I had to swallow you down whole

 

bloated now from the weight of your soul.

Author's Note

Reviews

[MoriartyMesa]

Well slap my a*s call me Charlie and tell me to see Wonka bars. The start gave me the impression the end would not be as harsh. But I loved it, the entire flow could have been someone's thoughts when lying in bed and having the ever important moment of clarity.

[M Garcia]

The imagery is just amazing. I can't write things like this, though people like my work. I could just picture this scene in my head. Kudos!

[Allen Smuckler]

This write is so vivid and crisp and real and honest...I had to read it a second time to check your words...your metaphors...your images to see if I misinterpreted your intent..........................................nope....don't think so...just checking.
Oh BTW, I absolutely loved it, no matter who or what you had in mind....Really great imagery, I must say....really great read.
allen

[Bridget Mcmaken]

Wow! I love this dark clever poem! I love every line and the flow if it is just amazing. Once again your work amazes me! This is wonderful. Very well written.

[roy mccarthy]

great write,
nice rhymes in there too!

[TJ]

Muse! Have you been on hiatus it does it just seem so?!
Anyway, the poem.
Loved your imagery it was great but it was your beautifully worded metaphor that stole the how here! The way you chose to paint the picture of a person wanting another so bad, getting them, then becoming disenchanted...it was amazing, unique and just plain good!

[Mark]

I think the last stanza has finally given me ( after several minutes' pondering!) the meaning you were shooting for here. A woman is bemoaning the pressure of knowing a man so well, that he has weighed her down with the enormity of himself, to where, "what once was a confection has turned bitter". His neediness, and her need, have only succeeded in making them both unhappy. Interesting metaphor.

[An owl on the moon]

Your powerful poetry simply sings of passion and sensuality.. and of being lost within another... being swallowed... Brilliant, emotionally stunning write!

[nevermindfan1991]

This is one of the best poems i've read on this site. This is amazing, I'm an amateur poet and I would love to learn from you also if you can, look at my poems.

[ivizarx]

great imagery + great imagination + put fourth through perfect worded detail = shows greatness in talent.
This work carries a nice weight of emotion in it.
Sorry that I have no constructive criticism for it :/ but I find it very well done.
Thnx 4 da RR, enjoyed it very much so :)

[Lily Mae]

I love the dark sensuality with this... when it's over it's over :) xx