Old

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He watches

through a pane

of dirty glass

like you and I

he's had a future

he's had a past

time for him

is almost spent

calloused hands 

like old cement

delicate fallibility 

impales his skin

ghost like stupor

invested in silence

quiet and guarded

bearded with thoughts

secrets antiqued within

waiting patiently now

for his hour to come

visual modality blurred

hearing obscured

deliberate and unmeasured

this process of decay

frail like lead paint

 

                    slowly peeling,

 

                                    chipping away................

 

 

Reviews

[EMF]

An incredible piece. Compelling. You have created a perfect character study in just a few lines. The depth of insight, coupled with a love of your subject matter generate a power and intensity, while you also imbed a tendrness and understanding that is incomparible. Class work Lady. Nice to get the time to read and reread. You have left me images that will be a long time peeling.

[Samuel Dickens]

We'll all have our turn at the window.....if we're fortunate. Increasingly, I spend more time there. This is very well written.

[Moflo]

I loved your wordplay in this piece! You kept great rhythm and pacing throughout and I think the format is unique and interesting. Great job!

[J.V. Stanley]

Wow, yet another beautiful poem with vivid imagery that conjures the picture of this old man. I like the end, "Frail like lead paint, slowly peeling, chipping away...." it adds a roundabout age to this man for I visualized an old house where the paint was flaking away, and because lead paint is no longer used in modern houses it specifies a generalized time (at least to me it does). Impressive work.

[anne p. murray- LadeeAn..]

A stunning poem. Very poignant and revealing

[Marie Harrison]

Love your poem!

[Larry Dyson]

READ MY FACE AND THE MANY LINES OF LESSONS ...
WON AND LOST...
read my hands and the scars thereon...
all earned in this lifespan of ...
deliberate decisions.

excellent write.

[Tate Morgan]

Wow that is quite well done I have under estimated you by many I raise you back to great height in my eyes

[WindSong]

Beautifully structured with great feeling! I enjoyed reading this!

WindSong

[MAC]

are you serious?? wow dear lady you are amazingly talented. love this piece! the elderly have a special place in my heart and i love reading their faces. what a special and most incredible piece!

[Sweets]

This poem flows nicely !
I loved how you added a photo to help readers with picturing the stuff you wrote :)
Great work!