Old

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He watches

through a pane

of dirty glass

like you and I

he's had a future

he's had a past

time for him

is almost spent

calloused hands 

like old cement

delicate fallibility 

impales his skin

ghost like stupor

invested in silence

quiet and guarded

bearded with thoughts

secrets antiqued within

waiting patiently now

for his hour to come

visual modality blurred

hearing obscured

deliberate and unmeasured

this process of decay

frail like lead paint

 

                    slowly peeling,

 

                                    chipping away................

 

 

Reviews

[EMF]

An incredible piece. Compelling. You have created a perfect character study in just a few lines. The depth of insight, coupled with a love of your subject matter generate a power and intensity, while you also imbed a tendrness and understanding that is incomparible. Class work Lady. Nice to get the time to read and reread. You have left me images that will be a long time peeling.

[*~*Butterfly Kisses*~*]

Wow, Muse. You have left me speechless. This is touching and brilliant. Wonderfully penned.

[Priscilla Sayers]

I love the flow, the use of clever metaphors and paints the image with words....

[symmetryAsymmetry]

"I will be extinguished, I understand;
But why fade away
When I can go with a bang!"

Immortality is for cowards, what scares me is what comes before the end.
Great poetry! :-)

[Mockingbird]

this shows what happens to a man in dotage and decrepitude. it's a slow process losing one's senses towards the end of their life. an eloquent way of presenting it.

[Igor G. Balatsky]

That reminds me of 'The last master of the glass bead game', a poem by Hermann Hesse from his novel 'Das Glasperlenspiel', - that masterly writing of yours.

[Michael X]

Compelling is the word, heartfelt and so utterly emotive in the sense of time and aging and life and death itself and what it means to be forgotten, the ending is sheer determination and the reader really gets the sense of feeling of being nothing in a world passing by quicker than the mind can think.

[Silent_Whispers]

Wow i really love your use of strong imagery. You are truly very poetic and have a true poets' heart. It's very well written and laid out. Well done!

[AK]

Beautiful description. Your similes are very creative and very accurate. Way to go!

[Keve]

This is wonderful work.

"calloused hands
like old cement"

Very nice. Perhaps you have an older crusty self within begging for approach. He is waiting at the window, beckoning for something even he does not understand. He not only had a future, he is your future as you also learn to wait.

[WhiteWillow]

Absolutely love, "he's had a future, he's had a past." This piece wasn't just beautifully descriptive, it made me really think about a full life. Great write!