Old

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He watches

through a pane

of dirty glass

like you and I

he's had a future

he's had a past

time for him

is almost spent

calloused hands 

like old cement

delicate fallibility 

impales his skin

ghost like stupor

invested in silence

quiet and guarded

bearded with thoughts

secrets antiqued within

waiting patiently now

for his hour to come

visual modality blurred

hearing obscured

deliberate and unmeasured

this process of decay

frail like lead paint

 

                    slowly peeling,

 

                                    chipping away................

 

 

Reviews

[EMF]

An incredible piece. Compelling. You have created a perfect character study in just a few lines. The depth of insight, coupled with a love of your subject matter generate a power and intensity, while you also imbed a tendrness and understanding that is incomparible. Class work Lady. Nice to get the time to read and reread. You have left me images that will be a long time peeling.

[Brittany]

Captivating story told in poetic form. Great job at capturing the progression of age. Perfect word choices and phrasing. Like the visual presentation as well. Nicely done.

[Lisa Ring]

Beautiful and melancholy. I find in many that have lived long lives, a wisp of sadness. They have learned lessons through experience, but people don't truly listen to the wise. The young know better than the old in the minds of many. Respect and appreciation can make all the difference to the old. It reinforces a sense of purpose for people facing their mortality. Excellent.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Hi Muse, That rum and coke seems to go a long way! This is beautifully written and portrayed and the etching of time well set out. The flow and rhythm are great. I would though say he may well feel fulfilled and may enjoy the cusp more than the fray?

[Muse]

dunno...worked with a lot of elderly in my life. I see sometimes a lot of sad in their eyes. So much to say...but their current state of mind...won't let them share a damn thing.....

[John Alexander McFadyen]

I guess for many. but many more are fulfilled. Still a lovely poem!

[Michael G.]

There are times when I feel just this way. With some regrets... but still working with what time I have to work. Well done. I really like the feel of this piece.

[Muse]

I too enjoy this poem. It made me look at aging a bit differently. I view it as a mystery, an enigma of life. And the picture helped inspire the words.

[Pax]

Beautiful! truly...

[Adam M. Snow]

Such a brilliant write indeed

[Tomi]

Brilliant! Absolutely Brilliant!

[Muse]

:)

[poeticpiers]

Still better than the alternative.. I am old enough to understand your thoughts.
My powers are failing buT i will not surrender easily.I don't fear death why should I? it is but the final chapter of this present life and the start of another in a new vehicle
An excellent piece of writing

[Kimberly "Melody" Carne..]

Compelling, you invite us to view what we all try to turn a blinded eye. Wonderful

[Wendy Seames Garner]

Beautiful poem, Muse! I had an aunt who lived to be 100. I was at her bedside, just before she passed from this plain of existence. Her mind was as young and sharp as ever, but she was tired of being here - the life that she had once known was gone.