Old

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He watches

through a pane

of dirty glass

like you and I

he's had a future

he's had a past

time for him

is almost spent

calloused hands 

like old cement

delicate fallibility 

impales his skin

ghost like stupor

invested in silence

quiet and guarded

bearded with thoughts

secrets antiqued within

waiting patiently now

for his hour to come

visual modality blurred

hearing obscured

deliberate and unmeasured

this process of decay

frail like lead paint

 

                    slowly peeling,

 

                                    chipping away................

 

 

Reviews

[EMF]

An incredible piece. Compelling. You have created a perfect character study in just a few lines. The depth of insight, coupled with a love of your subject matter generate a power and intensity, while you also imbed a tendrness and understanding that is incomparible. Class work Lady. Nice to get the time to read and reread. You have left me images that will be a long time peeling.

[SHEEMA HUQ]

your descriptive talents are excellent, I really enjoyed this poem

[jerrypat]

Oh boy, the descriptive lines in this gem of a poem are absolutely true art. As a very senior citizen (old fart) I can attest to the fact that getting old is a slow decay of the flesh, but it doesn't have to be of the thought process. Still, you are right in that it is "slowly peeling, chopping away."

[poetry-kiddo alienbaba]

He is a druid.
Can't say more.
Been there long...time he was gone.

[Firestone Feinberg]

A compelling poem. The true story of too many of us. Readable, expressive, and full of real unornamented sentiment. --david

[Baby Ricochet]

Really beautiful words Muse.

[Muse]

thank you..kind of proud of this poem too. It has a special place in my heart.

[Baby Ricochet]

You're a terrific writer Muse. One of the best on the WC and arguably the best free verse poet hands down.

[Muse]

and so are you...still getting your feet wet I suppose...but you've already earned much respect. :)

[Pól]

Awwww- u wrote a poem about me!!

[Muse]

lol yes I should have given credit to the one who inspired me. :))

[Pól]

Np

[Muse]

ha haha

[Androglossia]

Senescence may be the most anticipated milestone of human life. No matter how we loathe for it, our fear is powerless to stop the passage of time. And all we can do is wait and hope that when it comes, our existence won't be futile.This is a very meaningful piece which implies human existence.

[Muse]

it's a milestone most of us will cross someday....I tried to paint a picture...clouded by enigmatic beauty...forgotten memories...and pain.

[Androglossia]

When the heart is clouded by the vague thoughts of the mind and pain of the past, maybe it's time to paint pictures on pure white walls. And yes, sad but true, only some of us will be able to cross and create a mark.

[Muse]

time to paint pictures on pure white walls.

you shed so much more beauty to this analogy..thank you for this.

[Wórdsmíth]

Great what a lovable piece, that's damn amzin', i'd made view about it when i'lll old then omg...would i think about the same...?
neah..leave it...that's too far, yet i'm young...lol, that's a lovely write, but the most powerful the thing is your words...well expressed.
good luck 4 your next writin'

[Muse]

I don't need luck...I need a new "dark" inspiration.

[Wórdsmíth]

Well said darkness comes from inspiration...but luck plays a vital role in inspirations...
without inspiration you can't inspire, as like same without luck you can't figure out what's your luck, how it works, where it is, how it plays with us, is luck everythin'...?
is inspiration's everythin'..?
luck plays a vital role in our day to day life...anyway, have a dark inspirations...

[Souladareatease]

WOW!!! okay...from the creep of the black arts to random poems citing the old and paints...odd timing lol....This was a grim dusty painted picture indeed and the photograph fitting tremendously well ...this was all around disturbing and bleak with the touch of sad longing for the bitter end of it all...excellent write!!! pen on!!!

[Stacey Watts]

wow this is great. You captured what sometimes is felt by many older people. They should be held as wise and their ages shouldn't matter. So many times we see them as not people but we leave them alone to die. Excellent work..