Old

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He watches

through a pane

of dirty glass

like you and I

he's had a future

he's had a past

time for him

is almost spent

calloused hands 

like old cement

delicate fallibility 

impales his skin

ghost like stupor

invested in silence

quiet and guarded

bearded with thoughts

secrets antiqued within

waiting patiently now

for his hour to come

visual modality blurred

hearing obscured

deliberate and unmeasured

this process of decay

frail like lead paint

 

                    slowly peeling,

 

                                    chipping away................

 

 

Reviews

[EMF]

An incredible piece. Compelling. You have created a perfect character study in just a few lines. The depth of insight, coupled with a love of your subject matter generate a power and intensity, while you also imbed a tendrness and understanding that is incomparible. Class work Lady. Nice to get the time to read and reread. You have left me images that will be a long time peeling.

[Kenneth The Poet]

Intense imagery. This is a beautiful truth in a weird way. It reminds me of how my grandfathers went steadily downhill over the last few years of their lives.

[Coyote Poetry]

The photo made the poem come alive. I like the faces of old people. They tell great stories of life and journey. The poem was sort of sad. It si sad many old people are left alone and wish for company and conversation. The poem told a powerful tale with a very good ending. Thank you for a excellent poem.
Coyote

[Kesha]

Wow this poem really drew me in! The way your words are formed are absolutely perfect! What a great poem! This is the first time I've read your work and Im really stunned! Wonderful job!

[roy mccarthy]

such an awesome piece here!
visual modality blurred!
it is blue right ?
lol,great great poem :)

[Audrey Howitt]

I loved how you showed aging as a slow peeling, a chipping away. This is so much the truth I think. Great write!

[Elephants & Coyotes]

this is fantastic...wonderfully-written!

[Forest Green]

Your poem presents the sloughing force of age in an enchanting light; giving due justice to the life that draws nearer to its expiration date. The hour glass is nearly empty, and the eyes show it; your words bring comfort in due time.

Excellent...!

[William]

Hey, I love this. Awesome job, winning the contest--you deserved it. I'm not sure I've read a better poem on this site.

[Judy Ponceby]

Muse this is excellent. The flow is lovely. Your word choices give real depth to your subject. Love how you use the offset lines at the end. Particularly like these lines for the images and word choices...

invested in silence
quiet and guarded
bearded with thoughts
secrets antiqued within

[nothingnothingforgetfor..]

Something to marvel at in every elderly individual. Gotta love em.