Old

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He watches

through a pane

of dirty glass

like you and I

he's had a future

he's had a past

time for him

is almost spent

calloused hands 

like old cement

delicate fallibility 

impales his skin

ghost like stupor

invested in silence

quiet and guarded

bearded with thoughts

secrets antiqued within

waiting patiently now

for his hour to come

visual modality blurred

hearing obscured

deliberate and unmeasured

this process of decay

frail like lead paint

 

                    slowly peeling,

 

                                    chipping away................

 

 

Reviews

[EMF]

An incredible piece. Compelling. You have created a perfect character study in just a few lines. The depth of insight, coupled with a love of your subject matter generate a power and intensity, while you also imbed a tendrness and understanding that is incomparible. Class work Lady. Nice to get the time to read and reread. You have left me images that will be a long time peeling.

[...]

One day our youth will be gone. We became old and all will have diffirent taste and you can feel it your end very near. You make nice flow and words are very orecise about subject. Well done.

[livetowrite]

Wow I could see everything you were describing.feel free to view my work

[K.J. Bryen]

Beautiful poem. There are some great words in here. I love the ending

[Lyn Anderson]

The end flips the tone of the piece to something much more than its origins, a wonderful piece.

[Victoria PoetryBunny]

Really nice write about people, life and time. I really like how you use "lead paint" in the last four lines.

[JR Darewood]

Wow I've been thinking about age a lot lately. I like the image of dirty glass, kind of what it's like to lose your vision. We're all headed that way, aren't we?

[Poussiere D'Ange]

Its that one course of nature that you cant stop, getting old.
As for the poem, i found it to be really amazing for you could capture the whole scenario within some beautiful words. It was a powerful one and i really did enjoy it:-):-):-D.

[roarke]

chipping away indeed. Life is all about the chipping away. In the sense of Michelangelo.
Great setting of concept here. No frill, just truth.

frailty. We're born frail, we die frail. but I wonder.... what becomes of the sculpture released in between?

[quinfinn]

these words affected me profoundly, in a way of which i am sure you're familiar, having penned this wonderful write. i thought of my great uncle, Marshall...who lived to the ripe age of 96 and told many wonderful stories about his youth and how things were in his time. his skin was as thin and delicate as rice paper and his voice was high pitched and his eyes showed a wisdom and warmth i have never seen before or since. this is a gorgeous write!