Ours

 

 

                                    Staying submerged felt

                           endless...

                                    boundless...

 

but one can only hold their breath for so long

               before our lungs require us to resurface

                             I was trying to remember when

             .....................

 

              "when" our imperfections

      became their beauty mark

                                 and the mercury in their blood           

                                   became our electrolyte

 

       they said that we can be like airplanes

                              and fly high above the freak show

         but little did any of us know

                               

                  the red tide had grown too high                      

                            swallowing up our dignity and pride                             

          forcing us instead

                             to travel by land

                sadly...

                 we failed to rescue one of our own

                 our yellow submarine

             

                              could not save the canary

                  perhaps...

 

              the drowning was necessary.

 

Author's Note

There has been a lot of fighting recently on the cafe. Writers in this place seem to be so deep in water..they are oblivious to how they treat one another...oblivious to how certain actions and words can pull another writer down, hence "the canary" representing the few writers that are trying to fly high above the chaos, and remain "creatively free"...but harsh words and criticism are weighing these writers down. "The drowning was necessary" a metaphor to represent the writers who try and stay afloat "by elimating the competion"

Reviews

[Star]

the waters can me such a beautiful place but yet can be a place of horror....I love this. I did not realize people did not get along on here and fighting. ugh... I sure hope I don t encounter that, because I am here purely for the craft of writing, to get improve myself and be of help to others...honestly.. and I don't want to have all the drama...ugh.. you are a wonderful poet Muse and thanks for interacting with me.

[Steven]

'"when" our imperfections
became their beauty mark
and the mercury in their blood
became our electrolyte'

lovely..

[Muse]

thank you. :))

[Frieda P]

I tweaked your words whilst reading and they resonated in so many different scenarios, relationship wise and the problems I'm dealing with at the moment, with a little bird I have no control over...I could read this a dozen times and come away with another feeling....just superb this one, I adore poetry that makes me 'feel' something, brava! 100/100 and a favorite.....

[Muse]

thank you..stuck on this write for three weeks straight...then I was drinking my coffee, indulging in my toast covered in nutella...and the words came to me the moment I stopped caring. The key to writers block I think, stop caring...and the words begin to flood out of my head. The caged canary "we don't have any controll over it."

[Frieda P]

Ha it was the Nutella, I"m sure of it...love this one, I have my own 'canary' dilemma right now, so yes, this floated right into my soul. I don't ever think you can force a write, it can't flow naturally, this one is a cascade, you were right to wait....perfection.