Everwant

my first "emo" poem

Invisible drops now fall to the ground.

Delicate blades cut not the flesh,

but peirce the skin of the soul.

Immagined scenes of joy turned to bitterness.

Sudden turn away from love,

into the pain of a broken heart.

Longing to feal the pleasure, and betrayal.

Yearning to bring real tears,

saltiness to blend with the sweet aftertaste.

Dreaming of the blissful pain.

Completes with a knife carving words of regret in lifes blood.

The regret of never expiriencing it in the first place.

Reviews

[Ashlee]

It made me want to cry. I can feel the pain in everyone of your words...

[Rapterj]

eh - not really emo. Even in "emo" form you're too cynical about the whole scenario. Cutting to the last line where you certainly seal off such cynacism with finality.

If escape the branded jibe that most try to steral themselves to - i like the poem. It's very well painted. Words are more like splashes of color into the mind that senteces or fragments. It fits together well - my only complaint is that it is strikingly far too short to do itself any good. I would have loved to feel the emotions rush through another stanza or two.

[Kenji Light]

Emo poetry is a little overrated I have to say. It marks a beginning writer because most of the teens of our day start out with this angst-ridden form of poetry and then have to learn to express emotions in a more creative way. The suicidal/cutter poetry is a fad that should fade soon and lead the way for true artistic expression. Leave the emo poetry behind because I can tell from reading this that you have a lot more potential.

[Sara Searchefield (The ..]

Oh, what a wonderful emo poem it is! Anyone that can put such emotions into such a lovely poem should be awarded; Greatly!
Wonderful...

Sara Seay

[doctor's diagnosis]

wow. really good. after reading your profile and well, your [user/account?] name the last part makes a lot of sense. i'd never had a boyfriend until last year. i dumped him after less than a month, he was just annoying. i've still never been kissed. except for when i was like, five. yeah. but shhhh.. that'll be our little secret. :]

[Jillian Alexis]

This is an awesome poem sweetie! You express your' thought's and feeling's very well. The imagery you used drew me into the poem, as if I was experiencing myself, that of which you wrote. Very nicely penned, my friend...Hugz...Jillian

[C.L. Wilson]

funny thing is i have no emo kids around where i live..

i know that's weird but i'm in a small town. We had one emo senior at the begining of the school year and i think he's already gone.

but still it does fit the emo category like a custom made glove.

[Bubo]

Invisible drops now fall to the ground.
Delicate blades cut not the flesh, but
pierce the skin of the soul.

Great first!!
Yes, the soul can be far more wounded and hurt than the flesh.........the last two lines were wonderful, great expression of regrets and longing!

The regret of never experiencing
it in the first place.

[Sarah Steele]

cool, cool theres even an inner emo in you *chuckle* good stuff

[herpderp]

First emo poem? Daaaaammn. You did good. I like this a lot. You used words that are usually considered generic, but you wove them in a way that gave this poem a little hint of special uniqueness. Nice work!