Understanding.

A poem written about autism from my perspective, as a person with autism.

People like to say that they understand,
But they don't.
They don't understand.
If they understood they wouldn't need to tell you that they understand.

They could never understand.
They have never cried themselves to sleep,
Wondering why they're so different to everyone around them.
They have never felt the pain of feeling completely isolated from everyone.

They have never wished to wake up normal.
They have never copied everything about their peers,
Right down to the way they hold a pen,
Just to be perceived as "normal."

They have never felt the pain of an itchy sweater,
Or a sock that isn't on quite right.
They have never experienced the way too many voices at once causes everything to fall apart.

They have never been mocked for taking everything literally,
Or for tapping their fingers repetitively,
While doing their best attempt to calm the knots in their stomach.
They do not understand, nor do they wish to.

If they understood, they would never have made you speak in front of a crowd.
If they understood, they wouldn't ask you what the matter is while you cannot reply,
For your brain is overcrowded with thoughts, and your vocal chords seemingly temporarily shut down.

They do not understand, but they want to help.
They have empathy, but not understanding.
They wish to solve your troubles without having ever felt them.
They do not understand, but they care.