To His Girl Best friend I've Always Been Jealous Of

You know each other for years, our relationship just turned one year. He met you a few years back before he met me, technically he met you first. You've been best friends ever since. You connect with him and he connects with you in a way I won't and will never understand. I'm not directly mad at you, but probably it's the closeness you have with him.

The truth is, I'm insecure and envy. You grew up together, shared a lot of things that I will never know. Probably laughed at a stupid joke I won't ever get to hear, been on a getaway trip with your other friends. I can't help feeling this way. You're a girl and you're too close to him. And I've seen enough movies to assume that all best friends fall for each other at the end or one of them has already secretly fallen for the other.

I remember that night, that night where I made the stupidest thing ever in my life. I made him choose between you and me. I made him choose because I badly wanted to know if he's going to choose me over you. I stalked you on Facebook and Instagram. A lot. I keep on checking every little thing. Overanalyzing things. If I saw you and him together in a picture that suddenly sends me into a bad mood. I am really really jealous of you. Even though no matter how many times he'll tell me that there's nothing to be jealous of, and even if I know myself that I'm in a secured relationship, I can't help being insecure. I just can't. Especially from you. You are beautiful. And that's the thing, that's why I feel so guilty. Because you're so kind and nice.

I know I can't make you stay away and I don't have any plans of making him choose again. I guess it's not about you, the mistake is with me. I can't accept the fact that you just have a platonic relationship with him.

I'm sorry, but to tell you honestly, I will always be jealous of you. I'll  try to work things out, and I hope everything will be okay in the end.