Lost

Lost

Where did the girl with the forgiving smile go?

Where are the good deeds, she was willing to show?

Where is the girl who wore flowers in her hair?

Where is the girl who always played fair?

Where is the girl with the gorgeous smile?

Where is the sweet, loving, innocent child?

She's been missing now, for quite some time...

All that's left now are some unsolved crimes.

I'm at a standstill, at the end,

Being mean has become a trend.

Seeing the stranger at my door,

makes my heart hit the floor. 

The girl I once knew oh, so well,

Her image now, has greatly fell,

Her smile faded to an evil grin,

Her good deeds were replaced with drinking gin.

Instead of flowers, tied in her hair,

She decided that she no longer cared.

Her innocence has disappeared,

vanished... gone... 

Today I ask myself what I could have done,

to save her from this horrid run.

Where is the girl with the perfect image?

Where is the girl I knew?

 

Reviews

[EChaps]

I really like your topic for this one! Losing innocence is one of life's sad truths. And kudos for the rhyming; I'm terrible at that, so good on you for finding words that rhyme and also fit what you're going for with the poem. My only constructive criticism would be to look at some of your comma usage. I think a couple of them in there are unnecessary.

[.]

Apart from it's long strength.........i merely liked + loved it as well. Do yu know why i did love it much.................because of these below stanzas..........

I'm at a standstill, at the end,
Being mean has become a trend.
Seeing the stranger at my door,
makes my heart hit the floor.
The girl I once knew oh, so well,
Her image now, has greatly fell,
Her smile faded to an evil grin,
Her good deeds were replaced with drinking gin...............

You merely putted here so efforts in your poem i can say by your writing. A girl, a women..where's she.......!!where's it.....!! Is dissa. occurs........!! ahhh......so powerful words here that you've just used here...........really it's a well written............

[Kasey Nichole]

thanks so much(: