NOT happening

 

With wide eyes I stood, stunned still and shocked, not wanting to believe what had just happened, what I had just watched in slow motion, what my very own two eyes had seen, no I refused to believe it had happened.

 

No, this was not happening, it couldn’t be, not possible; I tried to convince myself as I felt the thick slightly sticky liquid slowly making its way down where I had failed to cover my skin, leaving it exposed; my arm, my leg, my cheek. The cloth would be stained an angry red color where the sickening substance that I did not want on me under any circumstance marked its territory, unless I hurried to wash the evidence away, but that would be surrendering to the fact that this had indeed happened.

 

Not happening; I felt a different, more fluid, liquid pool around my bare feet, it was mixed with the other liquids there causing and odd texture between my toes. Although uncomfortable, I stood steady and solid; still not wanting to believe what was not only in front of me but all over me.

 

It couldn’t be; there were other things on the ground as well, more solid things; some I could easily recognize and some that had already become so deformed from the impact or by absorbing whatever it happened to be laying in, I couldn’t even begin to guess what they were, not that I wanted to. Even with the evidence in front of, over, and all around me: this did not just happen.

 

Not possible; how could this happen? What did I do wrong? My thoughts started to betray me, starting to believe what I wished not to, to realize what I refused to. I could not fight it; it wouldn’t go away just because I wished it to. This had happened.

 

Realization, “DAMN IT!” I yelled, all I had wanted was a bagel, the other contents of the fridge could have stayed right where they were rather then come toppling out to splatter everywhere. I gathered somewhere around twenty paper towels to start cleaning it all up with no bagel and muttering incoherently the whole time.

Author's Note

did i fool you? heh, what you think was happening? =p
i <3 comas

Reviews

[Hannah!]

Haha! You did fool me. Very funny - definitely a feeling that I think everyone can relate to, and the over-reaction (as I think most would call it) was actually quite realistic (as I think everyone who has experienced something like this has a hard time keeping from screaming, and definitely has that whole "No WAY" line of thinking), all things considered. I laughed. Ugh, how frustrating your narrator must have felt!

Although, I wasn't sure what I thought was happening at the beginning. Maybe the narrator was shot? I genuinely didn't know. At any rate, this was a pretty funny story and I enjoyed it - my one suggestion would be to perhaps heighten the drama, and add more hints to what DIDN'T happen (even though we thought it did) to sort of bring this huge sense of relief at the end of the piece. Things like that always make people giggle, if only as a release of tension, and I think your piece could play up the tension and panic factor a lot more and ultimately come out more funny for it.