must i

must i sit here with mind full of woe

how will it leave me i will not know

its far to much for my small plate

i used to love but now i hate

 

ive been taken over by one evil soul

feel like im burried in one massive hole

must i stay in or do i climb out

suppose i need to scream and shout

 

ive always followed angels

and they usually lead me well

but i met a monster and now it seems i fell

its not how i want to be alone and sad and more

but i cant fly just now it seems

im down and on the floor

 

why do people act so hard and cruel and even more

rub your face in the dirt and then dish out some more

i can not heal yet a while because i feel so bad

all the hurt and lies has made me feel quite sad

 

i pray one day it goes away but not just yet it hasnt

my life my pain my sorrow isnt very pleasent

ive learnt a lesson hard to bare ,that when you help you share

but it only works if both of you do care

 

it seems ive lost a battle ,yet why do i still fight

because its in my nature to what i thought right

oh well i wont be helping none because my care is gone

i dont know how to help or love i feel im only one

 

maybe its best ive learnt a lesson ,well for now it seems

i used to follow angels and make such happy dreams

untill one day the devil called and screwed me up real good

and funny now when i look back because i knew he would.

 

must i pay with my life my heart my soul my own

i dont like being reduced to just talking on the phone

its very cruel beyond my words how you have stole my life

taken from me all i had and caused me so much strife

 

i sit and cry for hours on end and you say you cry the same

but i dont see you crying i see you play your game

must i live with broken heart for what you did to me

i was a family of four and now it feels like three

 

would your mother like you torn from her very heart

i dont think shed cope with being a few miles apart

if this is how you love people then i have to say its wrong

you need to give me my daughter back where she belong

 

must i cry my self to sleep and wake again in tears

you stired in my most horrid things and horrid horrid fears

i cared if you were breathing i cared if your ok

i must have been so crazy to let you treat me this way

 

i had a dream not long ago you died down in a gutter

i strived to drag you out of it and you call me a nutter

oh well it seems you might be right for all the world to see

but dont forget who did this horrid thing to me

 

i must write words i must get it out i wont let it eat me up

i may be down just now but one day i will stand up

must i see my future the way i dont want to see

seems i have to go along with what u did to me

 

must live a different life right now ,not happy like it was

and all because your evil plan all because because

must i accept your evil when all i thought was good

i really should have listened yes i really should

 

told to leave you to get on and make your life a mess

but i cared and loved you ,yes i do confess

but i cant help someone as evil as you are

because you have distroyed my life ,you went a bit too far

 

must i live this way ? oh why

all i do is feel anger and cry and cry and cry

your not the man i thought you were

i wasted so much love

now i sit and pray again to angels up above

 

one day i hope they answer me because i sent them all your way

now your cruel plan makes me suffer makes me pay

and what has really changed for you ? nothing yet it seems

all because you run away and crush all your nice dreams

 

i really thought youd do it and conquer your evil world

but it seems you end right back just from where you started

all this grief and heartache now that family parted

i dont know how you cope with that evil mood of yours

mine is all in pieces washed up on the shores

 

must i go on .........i think i must

because i promised my loving man

and i will follow my moto you can if you think you can.

Author's Note

written in the deep of night ..sleepless torture . has to come out i guess .
all comments welcome

Reviews

[Liza]

this was a well thought out expression
it felt like a scorned woman trying to soothe her inner child
asking herself why she puts up with ill treatment for so called "love"
it is a break through poem for the victim where she becomes her own hero
if only the fear doesn't consume her
she is brave to face with a mind and comfort her own heart

[KAREN]

I felt sadness, anger, and love in this poem! You had emotions pouring out ! EXCELLENT!!

[Cal]

My heart bleeds for you bab and there's not a thing that I can do to make the pain go away from you.... If there was, I would do it in a flash!!!!!!!!!
A wonderful poem, that a lot of people will be able to relate to....